Da Vinci Code

Da Vinci Code

after months of stalling, i finally finished reading da vinci code, magnificently written by dan brown. i wanted to find out why it became such a fad and why it garnered such superb reviews and commentaries and raves from a lot of people i know (Da Vinci Code is so overrated!). and perhaps, to join the bandwagon (oh yeah!). the whole story was movie-ish, nothing short of detail and imagery. the most action-packed story i've ever read next to nancy drew mysteries.and it will certainly make your heart beat faster (in a suspense-thriller kind of way) in all the right (and the not so right) places. but it wasn't what i expected, though. i find some scenes and dialogues too melodramatic, almost taken straight out of a daytime soap. nakakainis lang. just when you're revved for something exciting, the bida will say something like , i don't know, something too corny. masyadong madrama. think harry potter and albus dumbledore in HP1... "it's LOVE Harry.." blehp. whattaloadof C-R-A-P.

i love they way fact and fiction were interwoven tightly to make the plot so intricate yet interesting at the same time. although, the line separating fact from fiction was very thin that, at times, it can be confusing . someone even actually thought the whole story was true. duh! maybe that's what makes DVC worthy of praise, the way it makes you almost forget that it's fiction.

overall, it's a nice read. very informative. it's ok. something i'd spend idle time on. but not for the weak-hearted... hehe. as you might know already, some data are quite shocking and for the devout it might be really offensive. but watdahel it's nice, really. read it even if you do just so you won't be left out when everybody talks about da vinci code. just like i did.

how i spent christmas eve...

how i spent christmas eve...
it was pretty much the same as last year's. nag-bisperas ako sa harap ng computer. for noche buena, i just ate cake >yum<. i think, we all just ate cake. may booze sana kaya lang sabi ni mother sa new year na lang daw. we do not want to get wasted on christmas... sayang! hehe. pagkatapos kumain, videoke galore naman. sumakit yung lalamunan ko tapos mga alas-tres natulog na kami.

actually, mas masaya pala yung pasko ngayon kaysa last year. kasi dati tinulugan lang nila ako tapos yung block namin sobrang tahimik. wala pang on-line sa YM. parang natulog lang lahat ng tao nun. for some reason, this year, e gising ang mga tao.

Merry Christmas everyone!!!

elegy for my lost precious

elegy for my lost precious

arrgh... i hate my hair!!! i look like a freakin' high school student, dammit! i asked for a stupid trim and here's what i got. stupid hair left me no choice but to:

1. wear a cap or something of that sort to hide my hideous hair do for a couple of months.

2. withdraw any connection to the outside world and live like a hermit, yes, for a couple of months.

3. erase memories of the past and create a new identity

4. transfer schools (hehehe)

5. kill the stylist and risk going to jail. (at least i would be withdrawn from society).

grrr...i'm engraged, horrified and on the verge of having a serious breakdown.

why of all people, does it always have to happen to me? why?

Christmas Wishlist

Christmas Wishlist
i'm through procastinating. since only 4 days remain before the 25th and by now i have had sufficient time to deliberate on the things (material and otherwise) i hope to have, i am finally writing my wish list. don't get the idea that i'm probably posting this to make-parinig (excuse the utter conio-ness of that). you're smart. you get the thought >wink wink<. here goes:

1. pair of black Chuck Taylors-- finally got this!
2. another pair of Chucks preferrably of a different color (canvas or fuschia pink)-- (gawd all i can think about now are Chucks!)

3. albums galore! -- not photo album, dimwit! (spongecola, urbandub, bamboo, mayonnaise mostly local artists) suportahan ang Pinoy music scene!

4. cake-- i really don't know why i wrote this. it's a spur of the moment kind of thought. I WANT CAKE!

5. late night at Macahora-- kain (konting inom... ng juice! hehe) tapos makikinig ng acoustic. i could have done this a long time ago, wala nga lang akong kasama. maliit lang na place yung Macahora, intimate kaya masaya siguro.

6. Fday reunion-- sana matuloy sa 27. miss ko na sila... huhuhu. matagal-tagal ko na rin silang di nakikita.

yun lang. ang konti lang pala ng gusto ko ngayong Pasko... but do you know what i want most

world peace. hehe. joke. feeling beauty-queen.
sa totoo lang, (walang halong plastik 'to promise) simple lang ang ultimate wish ko ngayong pasko...

SUN SIM. ;)
ps: nakakainggit kasi mga friends ko halos lahat may sun sim na. hehe. 24/7 unlimited. walang kinalaman si Jay-R dito 'no.

A Walk to Remember

A Walk to Remember

you know how romance novels make you go "awww..." all the time and kind of make you wish you just had a more colorful, more interesting love life? of course you do. maybe even once in your life you did hope for a romantic intervention. i mean, who doesn't?

that's why i hate romance so much (at times). not to sound too cynical or anything. and then you come across a book like A Walk to Remember and suddenly you forget. i guess Filipinos just really are suckers for good romance (soaps and horror flicks) and i am an even greater sucker for a walk to remember, movie or novel, whichever!

Nicholas Sparks sure did know how to write some good love story there. The movie was of course, a lot different but i'm not going into that now. although honestly, its the same old tragic love story. boy falls for girl, girl eventually loves boy, one of them gets sick, dies, the end. and in between, the juicy details. >yum<

it's different for me though because i imagined shane west in all his handsome glory all throughout the novel. hihihi. naaahh. i just like AWTR. one of the greatest love stories ever told. too bad there are too few Landon Carters in the world. that realization just burst my bubble right there. damn those love stories! (*_*)

Lantern Parade

Lantern Parade

sobrang saya ng lantern parade. incredible energy and adrenaline-pumping action. we paraded taft avenue and the streets of Faura and Pedro Gil wearing black UPCN asTig shirts, maong, feathered arm bands and summery buri hats and chanting, shouting and cheering non-stop for the college. we went dancing tribal on the streets. we cheered like crazy. shame had no place.

although i'm quite sure UPM lantern parade was nothing like the one they're having at UPD with all the floats and stuff, it was super fun. there's something about the small population at UPM that made the event such an intimately happy affair that everybody from the maintenance people to the higher-ups, was part of .

we nailed the best in cheering award. yay! and our lantern won third. not bad.

and now my throat hurts like hell... so much for college spirit.

Christmas thing

speaking of spirit, Christmas spirit is one thing i believe in. i just love everything about Christmas although there's no denying the certain level of stress it brings with it. and to get some stress off, me and my college friends started this crazy Christmas tradition involving ourselves, a couple of digital cameras and the college Christmas tree. pictures will be posted soon.

*friends, our Christmas special may be history but we still have the rest of our college lives to do a lot of specials. especially now that i have decided to become more spontaneous.

patikim

patikim

andami kong kwento. wala naman akong panahong magkwento. konting tiis na lang bakasyon na naman at malamang magkaron na ko ng mas mahabang oras na makipag-one-on-one sa computer at sa blogger. saya. lapit na nga pala ng lantern parade. hooray! abangan niyo yun.

hindi totoong mga taga-Diliman lang ang may kick-ass Lantern Parade! >no offense meant<

SayawMANILA pics just as i promised

SayawMANILA pics just as i promised

Saliwan

syempre dapat kasama ako

Saliwan in action

donna and osang

si julius naka-sando

mimi

3 exams coming up next week!

3 exams coming up next week!

mainit-mainit pa. fresh from the mimeographing machine. yum yum. parang sinakluban ng langit at lupa ang susunod na linggo. sadyang isinumpa na magdala ng pasakit. ang pinakamasaklap pa nito, dalawang araw na walang pasok pero ni hindi ko man lang nabuklat ang mga notes ko at ang sangkatutak na readings at handouts na xerox. talk about major ka-ipokritahan.

ano ba yan, magpapasko pa naman. now i know... christmas is about giving... giving exams! harhar. funny because it's sad, sad because it's true.

umph! mukhang madedelay pa ang christmas break dahil sa dami ng suspended classes ngayong sem. tapos, hindi pa ako nakakapag-christmas shopping. at ang pinaka masamang balita wala pang christmas dough. meaning, i'm broke until god knows how long. christmases were a lot happier when i was younger.

btw, marunong na ko mag-injection! :D

wishful thinking

wishful thinking

if a genie came to me and agreed to grant me a wish (just one, i don't really need three), i'd wish it rains until early morning tomorrow so that the streets of Manila all get flooded and our classes will be cancelled.

and just when i ended that paragraph above, the rain was reduced into a soft drizzle, which I could have sworn good as not raining at all. bummer! come to think of it, usually, it's when we wish too hard, that things don't actually happen. parang nang-aasar na ewan. i guess, it's nature's way of check-and-balance-ing things. reminding us of that "we don't always get what we want" load of bull*.

just this morning i wished (i even prayed for crying out loud!), that the lab exam would be

easy and that i won't get too many errors doing procedures blah blah. pero pucha pag kuha ko ng papel para dun sa written part, nanghina na ako agad question 2 pa lang. who would have thought they'd give computations for the written part? and everyone knows how i suck at Math. numbers make me anxious, my mind goes blank whenever i see too many of them. luckily, the test only had a couple of items you'd need to compute for. i couldn't remember if i answered that question or just left it blank. either way, mali naman pareho. so, why bother?

and then i wished the practical (move system) exam would be easier. but no! it was so darn frustrating. and dare i recall the gruesome events of that hour and a half of my life. i shall not speak of the horror that is our lab exam. way too traumatic!

still unrecovered from the events of the day, some of my groupmates and i headed to BLISS at Guadalupe for a report we're having despite rains and having only one umbrella for all of us. what a nice day for field work. again, i wished the rain would stop. it didn't. i was cold and soaking wet when i got home. i even thought my feet would get frostbite! (exagg)

now i think i'm catching a cold.

there's a reason why they say wishes are hopes not promises. i wish i realized that sooner!

Sayaw MANILA

Sayaw MANILA

my head has been in pain all weekend but despite that i managed to go to the PhilAm Auditorium, saturday night and be the (un)official photographer for Saliwan, my college's own dance club. i managed to get a few decent pictures but everything else was just haze and smoke from all the movement they did (duh! kaya nga dance e! alangan namang hindi sila gumalaw?).

anyway, the backstage and aftershow pics were sweeet... i'll be posting them soon.

type O (-,+) wtf!

type O (-,+) wtf!

tama si bixie sobrang madugo nga ngayong sem. madugo,

sa parehong literal at metaphorical na paraan. ironically, mukhang ako e mauubusan ng dugo sa sobrang katoxican. therefore, malapit ng maging substantial ang pagbaba ng blood volume ko. tsk tsk.

blood shed...

and to think we're in this profession to save lives and prevent a considerable amount of blood loss. but we have yet to learn how to save our asses first from bloody semesters like this.

all blood donors are welcome. type Os will be very much appreciated.

blog miss

blog miss

hindi ko nga pala kayang tiisin tong hinayupak na blog ko. ganun talaga. pag may isang kang bagay o taong minamahal (extra super cheesy nito, alam ko. wag ng kumontra dahil totoo naman...) hindi mo siya kayang tiisin, gaano pa man ang paniniwala mong kaya mo. love precedes faith. this is as much a part of me as carbohydrate is to my diet. :)

second sem ,second year, seconds lost

indefinite blog hiatus

my semester's kinda, no make that, is really, really uber hectic so i'm having an indefinite blog hiatus.

second sem ,second year, seconds lost

sem's just starting, my body is still on sembreak-mode and we haven't been to all our subjects yet but our days (and nights) are already loaded... like hell. riiiight... talk about hell course!

we just started classes last tuesday and we're already having our first long exam on our nursing major on friday! sh*t talaga. ilang araw pa lang kaming pumapasok e parang isang taon na! tapos sa thursday (actually, bukas na yon), kailangan pa namin magdala ng buntis (6 to 7 months) na para bagang thing ang mga babaeng buntis. and mind you, hindi ganon kadaling maghanap ng preggy ngayon. asar nga e, kung kailan naman sila kailangan ngayon naman sila nawawala. at ang hirap magpapayag ng tao (buntis syempre) na magpakapa at magpasalat ng tiyan. kunsimisyon talaga!

at malas na lang ng group namin dahil mukhang aabutin pa ng Mayo ang clinicals. haay... mahaba-habang semestre ito.

goodluck na lang sa 'min!

grades

grades

i finally got all my classcards. end results were only satisfactory and i sure can kiss that CS thing goodbye... for good. :( kahit ganito ako pinangarap ko rin naman minsan ang maging CS 'no. besides, para naman may mai-display akong certificate bukod sa diploma ko nung high school. well, that's just GC me talking.

so far i have this on my second year first sem checklist:

N4 2.0

N10 1.75

Micro 2.25

Para 2.25

Chem 40 2.25

Histo 2 1.25

inuulan ako ng 2 point something ngayong sem. tsk tsk. and my mom would always say "ako nun nung college ako..." blah blah yadda yadda. ma, isa lang ang masasabi ko diyan: whatever!!! oo na lam kong tamad ako! sa susunod medyo sisipagan ko na at hindi ko na tutulugan ang exam. juice ko, sana lang magawa ko lahat 'to diba?

first just let me greet you a proper

Happy Halloween!!!

i thought the orange and black theme would be enough....

blog anniversary

blog anniversary today!!!

i have plans of changing my template too but i can't work without frontpage so the new template would be delayed until i figure out how to work html using notepad. i'm not that skilled, you know...

exactly a year ago, i wrote about how i despised sembreaks, how they kill me with boredom and how they make me too idle. that was a year ago. a year since, i find myself still on sembreak and still bored to death yet thankful nonetheless that i don't have to go to school for a couple of weeks. i mean, it's better this way. i won't have to get my ass off the bed every morning. i won't have to run a flight of stairs to make it to class. i won't have to beat traffic lights to get to class. i won't have to come up with such lame excuses why i came late for class. i won't have to think of where to eat for lunch. i won't have to do anything but waste time and just be my usual lazy self.

almost only a week left before we resume typical school routine. i'm planning on spending the remaining days of happiness on something worthwhile.

1) go to Pangasinan for my aunt's 65th birthday celeb and for halloween na rin. we'll be leaving on sunday. it should be a blast and a helluva good time spent with relatives and adorable nephews and nieces. i'm giving them a bit of halloween scare. can't wait.

2) finish the scrapbook i'm working on. it should be finished by friday. i'm feeling kinda crafty today and my creative juices can't wait to pour out of my nutshell. it should be a nice project. i'm working on high school and college pictures. nostalgia... nostalgia...

3) i know this would be too passe but i made testimonials to some friends on (ahem ahem) friendster. those were long over due but they deserve it. while i was at it, i spent some time reading mine. testimonials can be really uplifting, no matter how baduy or corny or out-dated they may seem now. life is so much easier with testimonials.

4) added some yahoo id's of friends on YM. just to keep the lines of communication open...

5) i'm currently reading a Nancy Drew book. i've had Nancy Drew books since i could remember but i never really read them. it took me this long to finally start reading Nancy Drew. guess, i was too hooked with Sweet Valley then. SV seems so crappy snd superficial now. i think we all go through that "Sweet Valley" stage in our lives when everything's just so bubblegummy (props to Sed for that wonderful adjective). and then we move forth to a stage called "adolescence" and teenager-ism when all the angst sink in. yeah!

6) wadelse? hmm.. stalking some people... bwahaha :D friendster is the perfect stalking tool pare! ;) teenage girl, teenage girl :P

so there you go... i'm really excited about my scrapbook but i'm afraid i'm still short on pictures. wish i could have a printing galore and have all my digital images printed out. there's just too many. :(

wait. photo shops are accepting digital images now, right? wonder how much that would cost...

happy birthday bloggy!!!

never knew i would get this hooked

stressed tress

stressed tress

my locks are in an all time low right now. looked more horrible and wildly disarrayed than usual. ironically enough, it has never been this long, ever. it's dry and tangled all over and i'm in serious need of a hair make over... fairy godmother of hair, help me!

mom heard me whining and came to the rescue. she may not be fairy godmother but she's mother all right. although her ways are yes, questionable even for weird old me, i was made to comply for fear that questioning her methods would be too much for me to handle.

and then, she went on and on about how her hair was long and thick back in the days when she was younger and how her mother (my grandmommy, god bless her soul!) would bathe her hair in coconut milk which was exactly what she did with mine. weird, i know!

after having your hair all covered in gata, you let it stand for about an hour or so and then you rinse it with your fave shampoo. you would really have to rinse it well so you won't get too much oil on your locks and you won't end up looking like you have been dipped on grease. your hair should be shiny and well-moisturized by then.

experts (read as: mother) say the effect would be good for around two days and i wonder if the smell was included in that. the stink of coconut milk would really stick to your hair even after vigorous shampooing.
and i'm not really sure if you should be taking beauty advice from moi! haha :D

a reunion, a wedding and a sucky menu :p

a reunion, a wedding and a sucky menu :p

i can't believe i missed curie reunion for that stupid wedding. the ceremony was in japanese, the food sucked big time (japanese... yuck!) and although there were a lot of familiar faces around, mostly neighbors, i didn't really know any single one of them, except my mom whom i was with that night.

but what really ticked me off was the menu. seriously, i was only in it for the food and the food sucked. i mean, i didn't know anyone there. and i couldn't care less if the groom wanted to marry someone Madam Auring-ish. weno naman ang pakialam ko ano? close ba kami? HINDI. and i guess, wala rin naman silang pakialam kung nandun ako o wala. so i was pretty much... no make that, really, in there for the food. haha. professional P-G na 'to!

and did i say the food sucked? with names i can't even pronounce and arrangements which you'd think were hot off the cook book. the menu was really, really long. about 6 to 7 "entrees" (is that what you call them? feel free to correct me :D )were served. and i'm not really that keen on fine dining. i mean, i still have trouble with all the utensils. and besides, i hate that formal crap. actually, ok sana kung masarap yung food but no! there was this food, japanese i think, it looked real good pero kung gaano siya kaganda, ganun naman kapangit yung lasa. raw salmon and some other fish yeeekkk... nakaka-frustrate nga eh kasi maski yung dessert e hindi masarap. choco-orange parfait something. yung choco part lang yung kinain ko. grrr... kainis. and all the other kids have this kiddie meal (chicken, spaghetti and ice cream) which looked and, i guess, tasted better than adult food. sana yun na lang ang sinerve sa kin. baka umuwi pa akong nakangiti...

even the darn cookies weren't good!
i'll live my whole life hating five star hotels and fine dining restaurants because of that...

actually, i never really liked any of the stuff :D

iced crush

iced crush

you might think this is ultra cheeezy and to tell you quite frankly i never imagined myself saying this, but i am anyway so, live with it.

having a crush is one of the nicest if not the nicest feeling in the world. the natural high is just incredible. everything is incredible. i won't trade it for anything. okay, so maybe not really ANYTHING... that coveted mp3 player would be nice. haha. but still crushing on someone is like the icing on the cake, the cherry on the top, the spice of life... (wherever did that come from?)

it's high school all over again. and i still have vivid memories of racing heartbeats, hot flushed cheeks and dreamy stares everytime i see "him" walk across the quadrangle. suddenly, everything seems to be in slow motion and once again i am transported to cloud cuckoo land. typical high school girl crush if you ask me.
now that i'm more "mature" , it's not any different. the characters definitely have changed but the story's just the same. as always, i still get all tachycardiac and dreamy and stuff. i still can't get that stupid smile off my face everytime i sortuv see/imagine "him". the excitement of it all just takes my breath away. shallow yet totally elating...

ahhh alas! i'm a teenage girl once more. (i'm a girl! wtf. i almost forgot.)

crush ko si _____ :D

never felt better...

went to

went to
osang's dad's wake today. originally, the girls and i were supposed to meet at school but i cancelled after letting them wait for quite a while. i still had to run some things and my mom asked me to meet her at the mall. finally, i did go.
while aboard the jeep at España, i was lucky to see some friends who apparently were also going to the wake so i went down the jeep to go with them. besides, i didn't really want to ride the jeep. i felt metro manila pollution clogging my skin pores. it's so stressful. and yeh, i'd rather go with company, of course. :)
turned out, i didn't know the place and i could get lost if i did go there alone. anyway, we walked from quezon ave to the funeral place thinking it wasn't too far but hell it was! you know how lazy i am. i'm not used to walking distances and i'm not even used to walking. i'm that lazy, i know!
after finally reaching funeraria paz, my hair was in wild disarray, my bladder had to go and i was totally thirsty i even felt my throat go dry. a glass of hydrogen dioxide and a trip to the girl's room after, i felt better.
i don't really know the protocol (if there's such a thing) when going to wakes. i grew up thinking it's a place where people play cards while munching on your standard biskwit at kape. i don't know how i did but i finally mustered the courage to look at the dead man's face. usually, i won't do that, i'm too scared. like i would imagine the dead suddenly open their eyes or that they would squint or that moisture would form on the coffin glass. creepy.
anyway, there's a certain peacefulness when you look at them lying there. it's radiating almost infectious. when you die (depending on how you lived your life), body and soul separate and become two distinct peaceful entities. in time the body wears away but the soul lives on forever.



'nuf said... off to play Need For Speed yahoooo!

random angst

random angst

ugggh hassle! siyet tlaga. punyeta. eto yung mga panahon na gusto mo na lang mag-vanish into thin air. parang nag-conspire ang buong uniberso para bigyan ka ng sakit ng ulo. badtrip.

- nangangati ang buong katawan ko at sa di malamang kadahilanan napupuno ng mga pulang marka na mukhang pantal pero hindi naman. nakakahigh blood!

- may isang nilalang na maaring naka-infiltrate na netong kuta ko. hindi ako sigurado pero malakas ang kutob ko. arrgh. shit yun. ang lawak naman ng internet. kumbakit kelangan pang mapadpad dito... kundi ba naman uminit ang ulo mo.

- gusto ko ng bumalik sa pagiging invisible... >poof!<

- at biglang tumugtog ang With a Smile ng Eheads, mas uminit ang ulo ko. yeh ryt. with a smile mo mukha mo!

if this ain't laugh trip i don't know what is!

if this ain't laugh trip i don't know what is!

i was going through some dusty old handouts when i came across a magical stationery pad that made me laugh so hard i got all gassy afterwards...written in front, in big bold letters are the words:

"You made me realize, that all I want...Is to be with you!"

standard stationery crap if you know what i mean. i'm pretty sure you remember Tsukuba (TM) from your statio swapping days back in elementary. printed on the stationery was a drawing of a boy and a girl sitting on the grass surrounded by flowers, holding hands while their pet dog lay down nearby. same old, same old. i'm not quite sure where that piece of junk hailed from.

i went through the first few pages of the pad and written were quotations about luuuuuv. boy was it cheesy! and then there were songs, ultra cheesy! and then the best part(drum roll please...) poems galore! ultragalactic-major-beyond-your-wildest-dreams mush mush mush.

but it left me laughing my ass off. man this is hilarious. let me share you one poem straight from the stationery: (unedited version, comments are in smaller sizes and unitalicized)

Knowing those person,

Knowing who really them,

Knowing those things that was interesting!

Oh gosh isn't it funny?

You are interested to these person

You want to know them more!

Like a mirror

you've seen a lot

but you don't deserve!

You want to find those things that was

new in your life

Like a fuckin shit feather!

And a bitch monkey whose so

innocent

But if you think...

If you ask them

Did they do the same?

Did they feel the same?
You're just playing a damn shit

into the mirror

Knowing those reasons why?

now tell me this isn't funny... :D writer is still unknown. like a fuckin shit feather!

wretched sembreak!

wretched sembreak

and to think i have only been on it for two days! i'm frikkin' bored. bored like hell. i mean you should try staying at home, alone on a weekday and you'd go nuts. gaawwd... all the stuff that could come into your mind could definitely drive you out of your wits. and sometimes, i think i could even hear myself think. and maybe run out of things i could think of.

the tv and me? we're getting closer by the minute. rebuilding and reinforcing old bonds which were weakened by the semester that had gone by. i'm discovering and rediscovering programs and i think i'm falling deep-hard-face-down-flat-on-the-ground for nick. not nick carter, silly! i already had my share of him back in grade school. nyahahaha. am talking about nickelodeon. juts about the greatest channel ever (yeh yeh we don't have etc or disney or discovery. don't rub it in!).

there's this new show on whacked airing every friday on nick, Girls in Love. i know it sounds like some lame old chinovela or something but it's waaaaaaaaaayy better. it's some kinda Lizzie McGuire-ish with people talking with that crisp English accent. it's cool. probably because I can totally relate with Ellie, the bida girl and the perfect mix of teenage angst and everything else. and my, my the English boys are soooo cute. i'm telling you if they're not cute, i don't know what is. >:)

so anyway, there's this other show, Drake and Josh. it's kinda corny but wtf i adore Drake Bell!

"i heart drake"

Imagine

currently listening to: a perfect circle's remake of a John Lennon song on Launch™

astig 'to. hate to call it a "revival" but they sure did justify that J.L. hit.

Imagine

Imagine there's no heaven

I'ts easy if you try

No hell below us

Above us only sky

Imagine all the people

Living for today

Imagine theres no countries

It isn't hard to do

Nothing to kill or die for

No religion too

Imagine all the people

Living life in peace

You may say

I'm a dreamer

But I'm not the only one

I hope someday you will join us

And the world will live as one

Imagine all the people

Sharing all the world

You may say I'm a dreamer

But I'm not the only one

I hope someday you will join us

And the world will live as one

Imagine no possesions

I wonder if you can

No need for greed or hunger

A brotherhood of man

Imagine all the people

Sharing all the world

You may say I'm a dreamer

But I'm not the only one

I hope someday you will join us

And the world will live as one

and i thought it was over

but no! i'm taking the finals on microbiology! gaawwwd. after all that exposure (to pathogens) and effort... well, okay maybe there wasn' t too much effort involved... but still, i'm taking the frikkin' finals!

maybe it's ego. maybe i was just expecting too much. or maybe God is sending me a message. and there i was, actually thinking i could work my magic yet one more time.

ikaw kasi natulog ka nanaman, diba may exam?

tangna kasalanan ko ba?!

my fave hobby

had one whole day wasted. i found myself sitting in silence, staring in blank space, doing absolutely nothing. and i swear, that was the greatest feeling ever. for years i've searched forthings i enjoy doing, like some hobby or something. now i know. doing nothing would be the greatest pleasure. now i know, i have confirmed, i'm the laziest person i know.

just bragging about

my 89 on that last biochem exam. i'm ecstatic. don't know how i pulled that one off. hoorah. you see, no matter how cliche this may sound, there's a rainbow after the storm (well... not always. but, hell, it's just a figure of speech). and now i'm too happy to study for my pathophys exam. raaayyyyyt. and i actually thought about rainbows?!

corregidor galore

must see pare.

"to corregidor. rule #1: never let the camera see you're sea sick"

"first pic sa corregidor. ang init!"

"amazing... we're like flying. kahit sa picture lang."

"bilis, bilis baka abutin tayo ng alon."

"batuhan"

"batukan"

"the green, the blue, the sky over you"

"view hidden behind the clouds or perhaps poor film exposure"

"where's wally?"

"suicide cliff: ironic huh?"

"suicide from another viewpoint"

pre-sembreak jitters

two more weeks and still a ton of exams and requirements to go and we're so done with the semester! i seriously need thorough detox (or stresstabs). konting tiis na lang friends malapit na ang sembreak. i could practically taste sembreak already (yum yum).

leader ako? wtf.

for the first time in my whole pathetic college life, i was chosen to lead a group. what were they thinking?! gawd. seriously, either napagtripan or wala ng mapiling iba. i go for the latter. heller! groupmates walang sisihan ha. you know i can't handle too much responsibility. i'll try. but i'm not promising anything. :) goodluck sa presentation natin sa para 10N sa tuesday. hihihi.

Nursecissm

last Friday. every other batch presentation looked mediocre compared to the seniors'. ours? nvm. it wasn't sucky. but nvm. Hands to Cholo- Best Actor. woohoo! proud kami sa'yo.

till we meet again, Ward 10

Ward 10 was one helluvan experience. major toxicity. major everything. i had two patients, both on their late 20's. heaven knows why all the shy patients are assigned to me(we're supposed to have random assignments). both didn't want to have their breasts examined. kainis. the second one, really sure of her sexuality. i thought she was just tomboyish but then again...oops client confidentiality...

On our last day in the Ward, i was able to bathe one of the patients with Mae. major bathing experience pare. he was a he. and he had us sweating like crazy. my hair was a total mess (messier than usual) afterwards. and my energy was down to nil. if you're asking why, our patient was an 18-yr-old tubby boy post-op with fresh stapled and still slightly bleeding stitches from the left mandible to the ribs. it was real scary. i wanted to faint. but then again regained composure. ethics thing. we were really, really careful not to hurt him or move him too much because the staples looked like they readily pop out when provoked. i may get sued for medical malpractice, oh no. anyways, scrub scrub and we're done. we just had to repeat the scrubbing several times though because the layer of dead epithelia was so thick that one scrubbing wasn't enough. still scarier was the shampooing part. there was too much movement involved.

cheesy

i was fighting the urge to sleep on my pathophys class last thursday. it was such an ungodly hour and the temperature's perfect for dozing plus the fact that i had just eaten lunch and i didn't have enough sleep the night before. and still maybe because we were on cardiovascular(CV) diseases. i never liked the cardiovascular system. it's just a whole bunch of narrow tubes which, on my point of view, all looked alike, controlled by this muscular thing called the heart. very, very confusing. and now we had to study CV diseases. gawd i couldn't care less!

so anyway, i was on stage 1 (half-asleep, half-awake) of NREM on my sleep cycle, when i heard my teacher say something i knew i just had to take down:

"even before pathologic conditions, adaptable na ang heart"

i knew it meant much more than that. even before the heart gets hurt, it learns so much as it can take, and then it breaks. but the point is it learned. we learn and become better with every ache. hearts just don't become broken you know. sabi nga, "no matter how many times we've been burnt, the heart is incredibly resilient".

if you happen to ask where all this mushiness comes from... well, i don't f*ckin know!

torn

torn

my taggy's broken. arrgh. no time to fix it yet. but sembreaks coming up soon. so i'll have all the time in the world (bwahahahaha). i'm planning to go out of town though. naks, i sound like a jetsetter. haha. don't be fooled! after this sem i want to have a thorough detox something. kahit ano. basta detox. i want to go to pangasinan or baguio or even mt. province. sana matuloy. ahhh... so many plans... wala namang natutuloy.

basta alam ko, i'm in such an awkward position right now. hindi ko nanaman alam ang gagawin ko. help me...

our corregidor pics will be coming soon. (next attraction pa pala hehe).

Whoa Imelda!

We owe Imelda Marcos for putting the Philippines on the map because of her extravagant collection of shoes…thousands of them. People of the world have put up an amazing correlation, almost a congruency between her and her Guinness-worthy love for shoes. Imelda was an institution all on her own that she even had a whole new adjective coined after her- Imeldific. It was like she lived in a different reality, a bubble, with her glamorous wardrobe, her roomful of shoes and the illusion that being beautiful was her mission and purpose.

She would talk about love and beauty and the cosmos and how beauty has made her a "star and slave" and how beauty is "God and Love made real". Really, weird stuff. She had a museum built for her and dioramas depicting her "moments". NOw that was really really weird. Almost kinda freaky. Dioramas of yourself? Watdahel. Now, tell me she's not obsessed and borderline narcissistic. BUt I have to admit she is pretty. ANd the clothes, gawd, superb! fabulouso. I wouldn't comment on the political stuff, ill-gotten wealth etc. I don't know much about that. What I do know is that Imelda led an extravagant life. ANd maybe on one part, we can't blame her for being too Imeldific. Well, what can I day? she is Imelda.

I could go on and blab about Imelda forever but the documentary is still something you have to see to believe. I saw it last Monday and whoa was all I managed to say. Awestruck, flabbergasted, dumbfounded, confused, amazed, astounded, wowed, (credits to shift F9) everything! Words can’t possibly describe how I felt. I don’t know. It’s kind of a mixture of knowing and understanding and yet being utterly confused at the same time. Oh the irony that is Imelda!

onli in da Pilipinas kong mahal at mura lang dito sa puso ng saging kiko matsing at pong pagong

kakaiba rin dito sa Pinas no? kapag sinabing 7 PM, ang ibig sabihin 8 PM pa maguumpisa ang party. kapag sinabing semi-formal ang attire, naka-jeans ang mga tao. kapag formal naman, naka semi-formal naman sila. ano ba talaga?!

at dito ka rin lang makakakita ng handaang walang lamesa. puro upuan. yung mga nirentahang table andun sa mga sunog-baga na walang kamuwang-muwang na sila rin ay excellent candidates for cirrhosis. yung mga bisita hirap na hirap kumain mula sa paper plate ng nakatayo habang ang mga walang hiyang sunog baga, ayun nagpapalaki ng tiyan habang nilalason ang kanilang mga apdo. grrr... damn them all.

at exclusive sa Pilipinas na yung kasali sa 18 roses ng debutante ay nakashirt, nakashorts, naka cap at all clad na parang clone ni Nelly (in other words, jologers ever). Duh! Shit mamamatay ako andami nila e. Feeling nigger ang mga gag*. Call me judgemental. Wala akong pakialam. Dumadami na ang population nila. Sa Rob din ang dami. gawd... tsk tsk. iyan ba ang napapanood sa telebisyon ng mga kabataan ngayon? poor them.

dito rin lang sa Pinas mo maeencounter yung mga tao na magpapakipot muna, pero magsasalita rin naman pala sa mic. lam mo yun? minsan nakakainis. minsan ok lang. ewan.

tapos may isang babae, wala naman siyang ginagawa sa 'kin. pero inoobserve ko siya form a distance (ewan ko kung bakit). at naiinis ako sa kanya. yung inis na parang gusto kong itapon sa mukha niya yung pagkain ko. parang ganun. hindi ko alam kung bakit. naiirita ako sa kanya. grrr.. pag naaalala ko yung pagmumukha niya. naiirita pa rin ako. grrr...

ngayon ko lang nalaman, na pwede rin pala akong magpaka anti-social. siguro naiirita rin sila sa 'kin. well, paki ko?

may comments thingy na 'ko

Due to insistent public demand(read as: Sedricke), finally, may comments link na rin ako. Courtesy of Haloscan. Di ko pa nalalagay sa bloggy ko yung credits kasi tinatamad pa ko. Anyway, pag wala na lang akong magawa ulit saka ko siya aayusin. K? Basta, gamitin niyo yan. Para sa inyo yan. Huwag niyong sayangin ang pagkakataong mang-okray. N0 censorship tayo dito. Pwede kahit ano. Freedom of speech e. Ginagalang ko yang karapatan niyo. Ang comments link na ito ay karagdagang outlet ng naghihimutok, nagpupumiglas at di mapigil-pigil na damdamin (parang tae no?). Gamitin niyo yan. INUUTUSAN KO KAYONG LAHAT MAG-COMMENT, ANG HINDI SUMUNOD SWANGIT!

Newsflash: heaven is taking sides now... and it's on mine!

Narcolepsy took its toll on me again. I was studying for my Micro exam and I haven't even gotten through half the handouts and lecture notes when it did. Like the silent and treacherous akyat-bahay,it crept through every nerve, bone and muscle. With the highlighter left open leaving a huge stain of highlighter ink on my bed sheet and photocopied lecture notes scattered just about everywhere, I dozed off while the Micro test found its way into the deep recesses of my subconscious. I was too sleepy and too darn narcoleptic (only when I’m studying) to think about bacteria or viruses or fungi. With no effort to battle drowsiness, I fell asleep… just like that. I didn’t know a thing on fungi and viruses and I wasn’t able to prepare for the health teaching session I was supposed to have with my client the next day.
The following morning, as if all heavens knew, classes were suspended. Thank goodness. Now I have more time to waste :)

Practice Lab Session

Pakiramdam ko didikit na sa mata ko yung ocular ng microscope ko. At feeling ko rin lahat ng makita kong pahaba na bulate-like ay bulate tapos lahat ng mukhang itlog ng bulate ay itlog ng bulate. Kapag nakakakita ako ng naglalako ng fishball o kung anumang street food sa labas ng UP ang naiimagine ko mga bulate. Bulate sa lupa, bulate sa hangin, bulate sa balat, bulate sa ilalim ng kuko, bulate sa paborito mong pagkain. Lahat may bulate. Nakakapraning. Kung di naman bulate, bacteria. Sa table ko sa lab may staph aureus, sa lab gown ko dumikit ang e.coli, may bacteria sa microscope, sa lapis, sa alchol lamp. May bacteria rin sa kamay at sa balat. Sa loob ng bibig may bacteria rin. Bacteria at bulate. Bulate at bacteria. Paranoia.

Don’t forget to wash your hands. May bacteria rin diyan sa mouse at keyboard niyo.

And in the end, we all go home to defecate

Written in bold letters on our course outline for Parasitology 10N: Bring: fresh stool sample on Aug 13
Watda?! First meeting ng lab? ano yan (sabi nga ni aylin), baptism of fire?
Bring your own. Syempre nga naman mas gugustuhin kong usisain ang sariling akin kaysa sa jerbs ng iba. But I failed. Nalate pa ko dahil dyan. E ano bang magagawa ko kung ayaw talaga diba?! Nilunok ko ang aking pride at nanghingi ako ng stool sample sa lab seatmate ko. Sa totoo lang, di ko na alam kung kaninong jerbs na yung tinitignan ko sa ilalim ng microscope. Chaos na kasi sa klasrum nun. Naitapon ko pa nga yung lalagyan ng stool nung isa kong kaklase kasi naman sabi itapon na raw pag tapos na. Edi tinapon ko kasi tapos na ko. E yung may-ari nun di pa pala tapos. Magulo na yung utak ko nun.. Naghalo-halo ang amoy ng 70+ na tae. Kadireeee. Kahit naka mask ka. Maamoy mo pa rin. Ganun katindi. At malas mo pa kung katulad kita, na ilang beses pinaulit ng lab instructor na gumawa ng DFS (direct fecal smear). "Ma'am wala nga akong dala e kulit mo!" Pero hindi ko sinabi yan syempre.

First Time sa Community


Sa college namin, part ng clinical duty ng student nurse hindi lang ang hospital exposure kundi pati na rin yung community exposure. Sa Pasay ako na-assign. Do’n sa may San Pablo Health Center sa may malapit sa border ng Parañaque atsaka Pasay. Siyempre dahil first time kong magcocommunity nursing yung may totoong pasyente kaya hindi ako late. Maaga pa nga e. Halong excitement, saya tapos kaba. Yung para bang natatae ka pero hindi. Parang ganon. Plantsadong-plantsado ang uniform. Bagong-bago ang sapatos. Bagong bag. Kumpletong supplies. Para bang ipinagsisigawan na "Hoy tignan niyo ko nurse na ako! First time ko 'to." Totoong-totoo na ‘to. Hindi na ‘to tulad nung sa lab na lab partner mo ang uusisain. This is really is it. Dalawa lang ang pwedeng kahinatnan: magustuhan mo o mapagdalawang isip ka sa kursong pinili mo.

Unang beses ko ring nakasakay nun sa CN van. Medyo masakit pa ang ulo ko nung pumasok ako, kaya naman nung binuksan ko yung pinto ng van at pumasok ako sa loob, parang gusto ko na ulit lumabas. Dahil mahilo-hilo pa ko nun, parang gusto ko nang masuka. So ayun, tiniis ko na lang ever. Tapos umandar na yung van. “Hoy manong wala pa si Ma’am!” May sinabing kung ano si Manong driver, di ko naintindihan. Ok fine. Iwan na lang natin si Ma’am. Hindi aircon ang van ng CN kaya I-can-feel-the-air ang drama naming lahat. Window side pa naman ako. At believe me, mas gusto kong masuka nung naamoy ko yung pinahalu-halong aroma ng usok ng Maynila, car air freshener nung van at basura sa kalsada. Di pa man kami nakakarating ng San Pablo, mukhang ako na yata ang magiging sarili kong pasyente.
Makipot yung mga daan tapos ang raming bahay kaya nagulat kami nasa Health Center na kami agad. Jampacked ang center. Daming tao. Puro sanggol. Out of nowhere, nag-appear si Ma’am. Sinabi muna niya yung mga dapat naming gawin para sa araw na ‘yun. Tapos pumasok na kami sa center. Una parang nawawala pa ako. Sa una kasi parang mahihiya kang lapitan yung mga pasyente. Pero di rin nagtagal yun kasi alam kong marami pa kong kailangang gawin. Nilapitan ko ang unang pasyenteng nakita ko. Sa pamamagitan ng aking award-winning smile (ahem… wag ng kumontra..) at therapeutic communication skills nagpakilala ko. “Magandang umaga po ako po si Erica Diaz. Ako po yung magiging nurse niyo ngayong araw na’to…blah blah blah”. Ganun talaga pakapalan ng mukha pag nurse ka na. At syempre dapat feeling close ka na agad. Kailangang magkaron kayo ng rapport ng pasyente. Buti na lang mabait ang nanay ng napili kong patient. Hindi ko alam kung alam niyang first time ko. May kodigo pa kasi ako nung naghehealth history e. Halatang-halata. Yung mga ibang tanong niya hindi ko masagot. Katulad ng “Kelan ba magkakangipin ang baby ko?”. Alam ko 6 months pero di ako sigurado. No sweat mag-health history, baby kasi ang pasyente. Madali rin lang ang vital signs at pagkuha ng weight. Pero mahirap kumuha ng anthropometric measurements (head circumference, chest circ at waist circ) habang nakatingin si Ma’am. Nakakakaba. Siguro dahil baby yun at medyo fragile atska yung pressure na alam mong nakatingin ang CI (clinical instructor) mo sa’yo, bawal kang magkamali.


Yung pasyente ko, nagpunta sa health center para magpabakuna. Pagkatapos maturukan (hindi ako ang nagturok) sumama na ako sa kanila pauwi para sa home visit. Kabuntot si Ma’am siyempre pero sa bahay ng pasyente ni Mae siya sumama. Parang nawawala nanaman ako. Hindi ko nanaman alam kung san maguumpisa pano kasi, natulog si baby. Hindi ko tuloy siya maphy-physical exam. Sa pagbalik ko na nga lang. Pinagmeryenda pala muna ako, nakakhiya nga e siyempre kasi hindi naman mayayaman ang pasyente sa center kaya yung paghanadaan ka nila maski sprite at skyflakes malaking bagay na yun. Pero naisip ko mas nakakahiya kung di ko kakainin yun kasi nagabala pa sila para sa kin. Ininom ko na rin yung sprite at binaon ko na lang yung skyflakes. Sa susunod ako naman siguro ang magdadala ng meryenda.
Bumalik na kami ni Donna sa center. Magkapitbahay lang kasi yung pasyente naming. Hindi ko alam kung matatandaan ko ang daan kapag babalik na kami dun. Marami kasing pasikot-sikot. Bahala na. Basta malapit sila sa “dagat”. Nung pabalik kami yung mga tambay naririnig ko sabi nila “Nurse ito o may sakit sa puso… yadda yadda”. Natawa na lang kami.


Pagbalik sa center. Nag-coffee break muna kami bago kami pumasok ulit sa loob at nautusan akong kumuha ng BP ng mga pasyente. At siyempre dahil libre yun, pila-pila na sila. Yung isa nga sobrang taas ng BP e. Medyo nabarbero ko yata yung reading ko ng BP niya. 160/110 kasi dapat ang sinabi ko 140/110 lang. High blood kasi. Nakakatakot. Anyways, yung isa ko namang kinuhaan ng BP sobrang machika. Siya naman kabaliktaran nung isa dahil super low blood niya. Matagal na raw kasi siyang dinadatnan. Tinanong ko kung ilang linggo na. Sabi niya “Hindi linggo ‘no. Buwan na!”. Ok fine. Dahil daw kasi yun sa pills. Tinanong ko kung nagpatingin na siya sa doctor dapat kasi magmukha kang concerned or at least maparamdam mo sa kanya na concerned ka parang ganun.


Pagkatapos tinawag na kami ni Ma’am para sa conference. Sa ilalim lang ng puno, nothing formal. Sasabihin naming kung ano ang mga natutunan namin para sa araw at kung anu-ano pang kachuvahan na dapat naming ituro sa pasyente. Hindi toxic si ma’am para lang nga kaming naglalaro e. Yun nga lang sa totoong buhay na. Dyahe lang kasi masakit ang ulo ko nun. Di ko masyadong na-enjoy. Pero kung di siguro masakit ang ulo ko, kahit na pagod ayos lang kasi masaya naman.
Ito na yung gagawin ko for the rest of my life, I’d either love it or hate it.

at the foodcourt

this is what we do...

we just love taking pictures... of ourselves!

yana, kare and me (left to right)

"this wasn't supposed to be wacky..."

"looking into the future... do i really look constipated?"

"yana: strategy, strategy

kare: hmmm... ok ok

egay: wtf!"

another blah entry

maybe i should be reading more Porth and still a lot more Kozier

and another saturday was wasted... kainis. Nagising ako ng 1PM. Kumain ng bruncherienda tapos nagumpisang magbasa ng "How to Bath a Client". Nung nasa part na kung paano papaliguan ang lower extremities, nakatulog ako. Shooot! wtf! Nagising ako mag fofour na. Pagkatapos ng isang oras ng pagbabasa, nagsawa ako. Nood muna. hmmph. Pagkatapos, tinawag nanaman ako ng pc. Sino ba naman ako para tumanggi?

At ganyan nga nasayang ang sabado...

Ever wonder why the Camdens seem so perfect? kills me. :p

my new template

my new template

wow at last. nakapagbago rin ako ng template. sa notepad lang ako nag-edit. wala na kasi yung frontpage namin. napalitan na ng publisher (woohoo!).

kelangan ba ipaliwanag kung bakit nagpapalit ng template ang isang tao? hindi na no! minsan kasi magsasawa ka rin talaga. medyo ang layo nga nito sa dati kong template e. but i like it. hmmph. wala na lang akong masabi. .. ciao!

just before we plunge into another week of toxicity

nababebi-bobo nanaman ako. hindi ko alam kung kulang ako sa isip (thinking) o nasosobrahan na. minsan nangyayari yata talaga sa tao 'to. yung pakiramdam mo sobrang ingay ng mundo. pati sarili mo hindi mo na marinig mag-isip. ang isip (mind) ay nananatiling matino (sane) kung paminsan-minsan pakikinggan natin ang sasabihin nito. :)

the cup is not half-empty or half-full...  it's about to explode!
grrr... badtreeeeep talaga. bakit? hindi ko rin alam.  baka hormones. ewan!!! kung pwede lang sumigaw ang isip (o sige pati na rin ang puso kahit mushy) matagal ko ng ginawa. naiinis ako sa lahat pati na sa sarili ko. it indeed has been a completely, utterly BLAH day for me. like this day was doomed to be lousy and crappy and ughh, watever! yung utak ko nagmumura na (di kasi ako nagmumura ng verbal). bakit ba kailangang magkaron ng mga ganitong araw? nakakapikon.

sana bukas okay na. sana bukas hindi na kasing kasumpa sumpa ng ngayon.  sana bukas masaya. sana bukas may bukas pa rin. at kahit na patuloy kong isumpa ang ngayon, buti na lang may bukas...

*sa pagpost ko nito, July 28 na. technichally eto na yung bukas. bukas na naging ngayon. pero hindi ito yung ngayong sinusuka ng buong pagkatao ko. bahagi na yun ng kahapon. magulo pero hindi. simple pero kumplikado. EWAN!

resurrect

hey... this is kinda cool. after forever ngayon lang ulit ako nakapagonlyn at nagpost ng entry. uhurm... bago na pala dito sa blogger. more user-friendly (read as: for dummies). and you can even upload files already but it's a kinda complicated process for me. astig.
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'twas gabs' debut celeb last saturday. of course, picturan galore ever nanaman. oh well, that's what we do, we take pictures! and we love having our pictures taken too.  astig. dami dami nanamang pictures.  after the debut, punta kami sa bedrock. there was this long haired blonde caucasian guy sa bedrock who headbanged a lot.  like duh! hindi naman rock yung tugtog 'no. kadiri talaga kasi feeling namin may mahuhulog na kung ano mula sa ulo niya (kuto or something) habang nagheheadbang siya. ewwwwe talaga. tapos someone saw the  same guy, grab another girl's boobs (kasama yata niya yun e, and she's Pinay). stupid pervs. get a room please! 
 
so ayun, basically bedrock was fine. masaya nga e. kaya lang masyadong maraming mushy songs. aherm.. and ang aga namin umuwi.

dyahe. dami na namang schoolstuff, bullshit talaga. plus this fact na tuwing tuesday hanggang 8.30 kami sa school to drown ourselves in biochem. juskoooo! creepy pa naman sa faura pag ganung oras. and to think, nakaya kong lakarin mula faura hanggang masagana ng ganung oras. natawag ko na yata lahat ng santo and God knows kung gaano ang dasal ko habang naglalakad ako. kulang na lang e ako na mismo ang mag misa. nakakatakot talaga. feeling mo may bigla na lang hahatak sa'yo mula sa madidilim na sulok tapos hoholdapin ka.promise, sobrang hindi bagay ang pangalang padre faura sa padre faura.
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nakakatawa, hindi ba nila narerealize na sobrang mali ang sabihing "fuck you ka"? redundant at para mo na ring sinabing, "fuck ka ka" o "fuck you you". kumbaga nagiging adjective ang turing sa "fuck you" imbis na ituring itong isang buong sentence. tanggap ang ibig sabihin ng "fuck you ako" (i am fuck you) kahit na problematiko ang pangungusap. ipagpalagay na hindi verb ang turing sa fuck. sino ba talaga ang fuck? ikaw(you) o ako? diba? 'wag mong sabihing hindi mo naiisip yan... dahil kung gayon edi fuck you ka rin pala. fuck you tayong lahat.

*** wga mo ng itanong kung bakit ko naisulat yan. mahabang talastasan yun. (take note: hindi diskurso, hindi rin dekonstruksiyon <-- mga tagakas2 lang makakagets niyan siguro)

this is a test. i repeat. this is a test.

my big, fat wedding disaster

my big, fat kitchen DISASTER

ewan ko ba kahit san ako mapunta ayaw talaga akong tantanan ng malas o di kaya sakuna.
ganito kasi yun. wedding ngayon ng tito ko. so pumunta ko. actually, ayoko nga nung una. pero napilit na rin ako. hindi na 'ko pumunta sa simbahan, dyahe pa yun e. dumerecho na ko agad sa handaan. anyway, yung handaan, sa bahay lang naman ng tito ko. nothing fancy. yung isa kong tita naghihintay sa bahay. hindi rin siya sumama sa simbahan dahil siya yung magaasikaso ng stuff. tamad mode on nanaman ako, nagsasoundtrip, nakatingin sa kawalan. freeing my mind. haha. habang natataranta na ang aking tita sa paghahanda. ahem. what can i say? talagang tamad po ako.

inutusan ako ng tita ko gumawa ng sawsawan para raw sa lumpia (lingid sa kanyang kaalaman ang gulong pinasok niya). lagyan ko raw ng bawang, suka at paminta. pumunta ko sa kusina para gawin yung sawsawan. okei, madali lang naman yun e, nakita ko ng gumawa ng ganun ang nanay ko. inuna ko ang suka. so far so good... sumunod naman yung bawang. 3 cloves ang dinurog ko gamit ang mortar at pestle. inilagay ko sa suka. aba mahusay... palatable pa naman ang ginagawa ko. last kong idinagdag ang paminta. hindi ko maalala kung durog o buong paminta ang ilalagay pero dahil ang una kong nakita sa kusina ay buong paminta yun ang nilagay ko. kaya lang nabuhos ko yung buong bote dun sa sukang may bawang. as in buong bote. imbis na 'sukang may bawang at paminta' ang kalalabasan, naging 'pamintang may suka at bawang'. nagpanic ako at kinuha ko yung mga paminta. baka sakaling ma-save ko pa yung sawsawang ginagawa ko. nung natanggal ko na lahat ng paminta, medyo gray na yung suka. at nalaman kong pamintang durog pala dapat ang ilalagay. galeng... huli na ang lahat. ubos na ang suka.

at aba ang lakas rin ng loob netong tita ko. pinagawa pa ko ng juice. bwahahaha.

my last respects... to Carlo

my last respects... to Carlo

i don't know him personally. heck, i don't even know his real name. i call him Lei from the character he came as at last year's tea party (MEteor Garden theme). in a room of a hundred plus people, he was hard to miss. well, what can i say? he does have his own share (and quite a good share at that) of good looks. and i'm pretty sure there's more to him than that. yeh ryt how cliche! even though i practically don't know him, somehow, i felt the loss like, i think, everybody else in the college did.

it kinda hits you when someone that young, inches away from graduation and from finally getting hold of his dream, dies a tragic and sudden death. well i guess, it's true what they say, you never can tell when death would become you or in what way, shape or form it would come. it just does... life sure is a sucky game. bummer.

to Carlo, this may sound too cliche again, but wherever you are, i know you would have wanted to touch people's lives. and you did. you reminded us life that life is indeed short and isn't just about school or career. it's about more important things often overlooked. and as Cholo would put it, it's about making each day the greatest achievement of your life.

kung nasan ka man ngayon...pag nakita mo ang Diyos. ikamusta mo ko sa Kanya.

E ano ngayon?
i just realized... i hate my template. it's too pa-cute and too flowery. just sooo not me. mas gusto ko na pala ngayon ang contrast of dark and bright colors. may conflict pero hindi problematic... parang ako.


meet the third wheel
in case tamarin akong tapusin ang BS, meron na 'kong fall back career, ang maging third wheel. sigh... i've been doing it for so long, i'm actually starting to get really good. professional na nga yata. ha! like it's a good thing! nagiging instrumento lang tuloy ako ng mga pagtakas at patagong pagkikita ng mga magboboyfrend. ganito ang senaryo:
(girl magpapaalam sa nanay)
Girl: "Ma, punta lang ako sa . kasama ko naman si ... "
pero ang totoo... sigh... ang masaklap nito, nagpapagamit naman ako. tsk tsk tsk, sick sick sad world. oh well, what can i say? that's life... for me.

well at least come to think of it, may mabuti naman akong naidudulot sa mundo. i fill the world with forbidden love. yeah, it's forbidden. but LOVE nonetheless...

and by the way, i have unearthed my one true love (for now)... billiards!
ayos!
credits kay kes para sa isang nakakamanghang larawan

after so long ngayon lang ulit ako magbblog...
updates sa buhay ko (para lamang sa interesado):
1. marunong na 'kong kumuha ng vital signs ng cliente (milestone sa pagiging nurse ko)
2. kaya lang parang ayoko na ulit mag-nurse.
3. last week 3 out of 4 days, may i cry, cry ang drama ko. damn, hirap maging babae...
4. debut ni donna last sunday. masaya. late ako.
5. after nun punta kaming eastwood for fete de la musique kaya lang tangna umulan kinancel tuloy yung shows. andami-dami tuloy tao sa libis parang palengke. ang putik pa.
6. hmmm.. and may i say naka long skirt pa ko nun (no time to change)
7. nakakatensyong sumakay sa nakikipagkarerang kotse sa quezon ave. damn you onin! damn you paul! hehehe (ayan na-special mention pa tuloy)
8. as usual, windang nanaman ako sa chem. bat ba kasi ang hirap ng kapnayan?
9. buti pa ang kas2.. ang pogi ni atoy! hehe. crush ko siya ang talino niya kasi.
10. muntik ng maobliterate ang pulse ni daisy (lab partner ko) nung kinuhaan ko siya ng bp (first time). masyado raw matagal at mahigpit ang pagkakainflate. hehe sori daisy! i give you all the right to revenge... 'yan ay kung mababasa mo ito bago mag lab session next week.
11. tinuruan rin pala kaming kumuha ng rectal temperature. gaaad.. akala ko i-papagawa talaga sa 'min ng actual yun! na-tension nanaman ako. masyadong third world ang rectal temperature.
LAst:
12. kumakain na ako ng gulay! congratulate me... hail me...

Always remember:
-BAWAL TUMAWID, NAKAMAMATAY!

Your Suicide.. by Konstantine
Your Name/Username
Favorite Number?
Favorite Color?
Gender?	FemaleMaleUndecidedBoth
How will you commit suicide?	You will drown yourself
How many tries will it take?	71
When will you commit suicide?	June 25, 2032
What will your suicide note say?	Now there's simply one less heart left to break
Created with the ORIGINAL MemeGen!

punyeta

punyetang buhay 'to
pinapasulat kami ni atoy ng talambuhay and guess what? wala pa kong nauumpisahan. as usual, inatake nanaman ako ng major katam. dang! pero sabi naman niya yung mga relevant lang sa buhay mo at sa kung ano ka ngayon. e ano na nga ba ako makalipas ang labimpitong taon?


sinubukan kong gumawa. nainis lang ako. andami kong naalala. yung mga bagay na pilit kong kinalimutan naalala ko nanaman. punyetang buhay yan. ngayon, tinatamad na tuloy akong gumawa ng kahit ano.


wats new?

wait, before anything else, just want to put on record that for the past three days, i'm having this weird chest pain. i'm having it now. parang ang hirap huminga na hindi. gosh is this the end for me? 'wag naman sana. marami pa kong unfinished business. ayoko namang magmulto no! marami pa 'kong gustong gawin sa buhay ko- sumweldo, magkaboyfriend, european tour hehe. ahhh. paranoid. @_@
-------------------------------------


enrollment last wednesday. as expected, it was uber sucky only because i forgot my change (mga 200+) and the cashier won't give it back. plus, i got no proof that i forgot my change. bwiset. feeling niya siguro nandadaya ako. bwiset again.


after enrollment, i watched harry potter 3 with mae, kes and julius. the plan to watch it with the berks didn't work out. atat kasi kami lahat. anyway, hp was not as good as i expected. the wait, was definitely not worth it. duh! two years, and that's what we got?! bungi-bunging version ng hp3. i know movies aren't supposed to be complete. but heller! OA naman sa pagka-abridged yun. if you're not reading the book, you won't understand some essential parts of it. like why Hermione needed a time-turner? and why Buckbeak was executed? etc.
plus, that was not how i expected Lupin and Sirius to look like. the new Dumbledore wasn't as majestic and magical as the old Dumbledore because he talked too fast for a man supposedly as old as he is and his clothes were less Dumbledore-like too. wadelse? yung Hogwarts nag-iba rin pala. and the WHomping Willow. and Hagrid's HUt. ang hindi lang nag-iba yung stairs. Oh and the Fat Lady was different too. did you notice?
hmmm.. hate to sound too critical so might as well end it here.
i still say the movie isn't as good as expected.

just another just-got-back-from- entry


made the trip alone from pangasinan today. mega boring sobra. good thing, i stuffed my bag with butong pakwan (the ultimate puyatan snack) before i left for manila. it gave me something to do minus all the extra calories of regular junk food. aaakkk. kelan pa ko naging diet conscious?


i survived almost a week without tv (may tv kaya lang channel 2 at 7 lang. minsan may channel 9), phone and internet. i almost lost it, but then again, there were loads of disney vcds that kept me intact. 'twas kinda lonely being there particularly in the afternoons when my nephews and niece have gone out to play with the other kids and i was left alone in the house to drown myself in minesweeper (which i have never mastered) and spider solitaire (which i'm currently mastering)and some old cds that kinda grew on me already.


i missed a lot of things when i was there. i missed the American Idol finale. missed blogging and blohopping. missed hours of pointless phone talks. missed truckloads of tv. promise! when i was in the middle of far away land, i swear i'd do anything for cable tv. desperate times call for desperate measures. but sadly, cable was non-existent. :(


and now that i'm back. i'm having this super weird feeling. parang nasusuka na ewan feeling. a week made me kind of used to the probinsya setting, already. fresh air, early bedtimes, silence, trees, lahat. as much as i want to stay there, i have to go home. enrollment's tomorrow. classes start on monday. back to the sick reality i have grown to love.

aww shit! serious case of butterflies and tension! i not quite sure why i have the butterflies but the tension, i think, is from that timer, right there, screaming i have only three minutes left on top of all the windows. i hate times things- tests, practicals, whatever! basta kahit anong may time pressure, di ko gusto, especially that stupid timer. arrgh kaya ayoko sa computer shop e. i am a free spirit, i work in my own time frame. cge na nga muna 1 minute left na lang e. nagbblink pa na kulay red!

tata!

got back yesterday afternoon from our Anilao outing. sobrang saya. i really love the sea. love the sand. love the sun. love the waves. love the whole beach setting. love everything. the beach is like my destiny place (if there's such a thing as a destiny place). although we weren't really able to swim in brine because the beach was so rocky and kinda scary because it was deep and really maalon but watdaheck i still love it.


we left for Anilao Saturday morning and got there around 12 noon. the weather was great. after lunch, we were supposed to go boating but we didn't because the boatmen said the waves were too dangerous for boating. so instead, we spent the whole afternoon learning how to snorkel (and me learning how to swim) in the resort pool. not quite how we expected to spend the whole day though. but it was fine, 'cause i finally learned how to swim and i learned how to snorkel too. we were in the pool until like 5 PM. and then, we got tired of it.
after dinner, we headed to our rooms played cards (there was no tv or even a radio in the room), had some "girl" talk , killed a spider and a lizard then slept around 12AM out of boredom, i think.


the next day was perfect for boating so we did. on our way, to our first stop, Sombrero Island which looked more like siopao to me than a sombrero from afar, we came across dolphins. it was so cool. too bad, we weren't able to take pictures. probably we were all awe-struck, nobody even bothered to get the cameras.
we reached Sombrero Island but we can't get near shore because the waves were tremendous but breathtaking, nevertheless. we went off the boat to go snorkelling there for a while, but the waves were too scary so the boatman decided to take us to another snorkelling spot.
manong took us into some cove where the waters were incredibly calm and teeming with life.. and jellyfishes.
we were itching all the time. but it didn't matter. what we saw underwater- the many Nemos, angelfishes, spongebobs, patrick starrs etc, was way, way beautiful and exhilirating to make up for that. i couldn't think of any other word to describe what i saw. again, we forgot to take pictures. masyado kaming namangha sa mga isda.
when we boarded the boat to head back to the resort everyone was so quiet and looking at the wooden floor of the banca as if contemplating on the beauty we just saw. windang is more appropriate. finally, we did a couple more picture takings.


we left the resort around 12 noon, happy, enlightened and never better.

:)


On my LAUNCHcast: Tom Petty- Free Fallin'
Fave line: And I'm free, free fallin'
Rating: ***

downloading... downloading...impatient!


gawd i have to download nanaman yahoo beta. kaeenesss naman talaga. it's so tagal. i can't listen to LAUNCH tuloy. like so sad noh. i was like excited pa naman.


tama na nga yang kaconyohan. saka na lang ulit. pag nakilala na namin si super filthy rich conio friend of our dreams ('la kasing super filthy rich sa up, meron man kurips naman hehe. peace!).
napagusapan nanaman kasi namin kanina na ang saya siguro ng college kung may super filthy rich conio friend kayo. hehe. baka isipin niyo napaka social climber ko ha... dahil totoo! haha. hindi no. basta kailangan niyo na lang marinig ang fantasy adventures namin with our super filthy rich conio friend, ang cool. hehe.


i'm sure di ka maka-relate. hehe.
ciao!

kung ikaw ay masaya, tumawa ka... ha haha
kahit na mukhang tanga, tumawa ka... ha haha
kung ikaw ay masaya, kung ikaw ay masaya
kahit na mukhang tanga, tumawa ka. HA HAHA

*siguro kinanta mo no? sus kunwari ka pa...


:D <--- ako yan, happiest person today

nararamdaman ko na talaga sa wakas. akala ko dadaan na lang ang taong 'to ng wala man lang totoong summer vacay. feel na feel ko na ang init ng summer kahit na patapos na at puro back-to school eklat na ang nasa mga mall, sa gitna ng mga hampas ng hangin at manaka-nakang ulang dala ng bagyong sumira ng aking payong. bagyong Dingdong yata yung pangalan di ko alam. and besides, wala na rin naman akong pakialam sa ulan, hangin at pangalan ng mga bagyo dahil pumasa na ako sa Chem31! :D :D :D x1,000,000


ayoko na lang i-jinx. basta masaya ako period.
bilyar na lang tayo pare!

onga pala...

ANNOUNCEMENT: Shitzu puppies for sale. Cute and with complete shots. For more info, contact me thru the taggy and leave your e-mail add. customer satisfaction guaranteed!

yay ALTO outing today. katulad last year sabit nanaman kami sa family outing nila kare sa pansol. okay lang, we're like family na rin naman e or at least, feeling ko lang, at home na kasi ako sa kanila e. kapal talaga ng mukha ko haha.


at dahil ayoko namang ma-waste ang effort ng pagpapaputi ko, nakapayong talaga ako habang nasa pool. mukhang tanga, pero kiber no! ayoko ngang umitim pa lalo. yun nga lang nabasa yung payong ni DK. ayaw pa naman niya yung mabasa. harhar.


anyway, we had a blast except nung nag pusoy dos kami kasi talunan ako. ang talo pa naman magshoshot ng sanmig lite atsaka uutusan. naawa na nga sila sa kin dahil ang rami ko ng beses uminom kaya the fourth time na natalo ako, na-exempt na ko, yung next na talo sumunod sa kin yung pinainom ng beer. si ALyana yun! nyahaha, kawawang bata. kaya lang, ilang beses akong kumuha ng tubig tska yelo (part yun nung penalty pag natalo ka. nagtataka na nga yata sina nanay ebeth and co. kasi pabalik-balik akong kumukuha ng tubig tsaka yelo kaya nauubos na yung mga plastic cups.


nung finally nag-ayawan na dahil ubos na yung san mig, swimming swimming na naman. nagfeeling mini olympics sila kare,yana at DK. pabilisan raw sa isang laps (crosswise nung pool masyado na kasing advanced kung lengthwise). di ako sumali dahil ayoko. pero ang totoo, di kasi ako marunong mag-swimming and besides, ang lalim kaya nung pool nakakapit nga kami lahat kay yana kasi siya lang ang nakakaabot nun. at kaya rin halos majority nung time e nasa kiddie pool kami kung saan napaka init ng tubig, parang lalapnusin yung balat mo sa init, malamang dahil sa hot springs o kaya naman dahil sa ihi. ha ha. di naman siguro.. (sabay takbo sa banyo at kuskos ng katawan).


baka akala niyo ganun na lang kami kaduwag, hindi no! nagpunta rin kami sa pinakamalalim na part kung saan completely submerged na si yana (imaginin niyo na lang kung hanggang saan namin yung tubig). nagpraktis kuno silang tatlo nanaman ulit, syempre hindi ako kasali dahil hindi nga ako marunong mag-swimming, kung papano mag-treading. nakakapagod mag-treading. kaya kung lulubog ang barkong sinasakyan mo, kaysa mag-treading ka para lumutang, i-spend mo na lang yung energy mo sa paglangoy papunta sa shore. yung ay kung marunong kang lumangoy, kung hindi naman, i-hoard na ang mga life vest.


hay naku. ang sakit na talaga ng mga mata ko sa antok. pero pakshet kelangan ko pang aralin yung chem. ZZZzzzzzzzzzZZzZZ....


On my LAUNCHcast:Thornley- So Far So Good
Fave Line:everytime I get lost in paradise
I find a way to screw it up somehow
Rating: ***

finished Veronika Decides to Die today. good read. asteeg. medyo philosophical na catcher-in-the-rye-ish minus the cussing. meron ding mga medyo pang pervert at exhibitionist na part. sa wakas, may natapos na rin akong book ngayong summer. yung Anastasia atska Da Vinci Code di ko pa rin natatapos. baka after summer class na lang.


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
kahapon dahil wala kaming math (wala si mr. magboo) at naki sit-in ako sa 12 to 2 class, 2 pa lang off na'ko. nagkaron na naman ako ng isa sa mga impulsive moments ko. pupunta kong southmall. di muna ko uuwi. out of the way pero watdahell, wala kong paki. besides, gusto ko kasi ng bagong swimsuit, baka meron sa southmall. hindi naman ako solo flight kasi kasama ko si tin. bonding.. he he. bago pumunta ng southmall dumaan muna kami sa house nila, malapit lang kasi. gusto niyang dalhin yung car nila. first ever passenger niya raw ako. sabi ko sa kanya "ayoko pang mamatay ha di pa ko nagkakaboyfrend". syempre jokes lang yun. buti na lang hindi niya nalabas sa garahe ang kotse, nagasgasan, sumabit sa gate. sobrang bad trip siya, ako naman inisip ko "oh no, gumagana nanaman yata ang jinx mode ko". tuloy pa rin kami sa mall kahit na sobrang sama siguro ng feeling niya. wala naman akong magawa. sa totoo lang, hindi ko alam ang sasabihin sa mga ganung pagkakataon. "okay lang 'yan" would be sooo lame kasi obviously, hindi naman ok. sabi ko na lang normal lang yun, kahit na sobrang lame rin. bakit ba, sa totoo lang wala ka naman talagang masasabi sa mga ganung pagkakataon... diba?


medyo maganda ring gamot sa sama ng loob ang mall at ice cream. kaso ubos na ang mga swimsuit, tapos na raw kasi ang summer. unfair! naguumpisa pa nga lang sa 'min e. bumili na lang ako ng bagong shirt para hindi naman sayang ang effort ng pagpunta ko dun. after nun, umuwi na kami. at dahil may hang-over pa yata ang impulsive mode ko parang gusto ko na lang mag-jeep pauwi. dalawang sakay lang naman at makakatipid pa ko. pero turned out hindi rin ako nakatipid kasi pagdating ng alabang hindi ko pala alam kung saan ang sakayan ng jeep papuntang pacita dun. binago kasi nila yung lugar. wala na yung mga jeep dun sa dati nilang lugar. sumakay na lang ako sa isang fx. habang naghihintay ng pasahero para mapuno yung fx na realize ko na mali pala yung nasakyan ko kasi sa susana heights siya dadaan. ayoko sa susana, traffic. kaya bumaba ako (nagmuha tuloy na nagpalamig lang ako dun, he he, pakialam ba nila ayoko sa susana e). at nung finally, nalaman ko na (thru pagtatanong-tanong)kung saan ang tamang sakayan ng jeep papuntang pacita, ang haba naman ng pila. ayokong pumila at ang alternative route lang pauwi ay ang pumunta ng festival kung saan may fx terminal na papuntang pacita (via southwoods) kaya naglakad ako ng malayo papuntang festival. dun na lang ako sumakay ng fx (25 pesos ang pamasahe galing festi, 30 naman galing southmall). nakakainis kung magee-fx rin lang ako sa festi, sana nag-fx na lang ako nung galing akong southmall! waste of time and effort talaga sobrang sakit pa ng mga paa ko. second malas ko na yun kahapon.


pag-uwi ko nakalimutan kong nilagay ko pala yung necklace ko sa bulsa ng pants ko tapos nilagay ko na yung pants sa labahan. nung gabi rin, linabhan yun, sa washing machine. poor necklace, naipit sa washing machine. paborito ko pa naman yun. mangiyak-ngiyak na ko. at syempre, sinisisi ko sa iba yun kahit na alam ko namang ako ang may kasalanan. defense mechanism yun e. sinubukan kong hilain pero ayaw na niyang makuha. gusto ko sanang buksan yung washing machine kaya lang ayaw ni ma, mamaya raw masira ko pa yung washing machine, e mas mahal namang di hamak yun kaysa sa kwintas ko. wala ng pag-asa. pinutol na lang ni dad. nakuha ko pa rin naman yung pendant, kaya lang mga 3 inches na lang nung chain ang na recover. the rest, might have disappeared into eternal abyss. how sad..


nakakinis talaga. buti na lang magsswimming kami ng ALTO sa sunday. yay!

pahabol entry: i heart Paulo Coelho's "Veronika Decides to Die". loaded at may sense. totoo nga, nawawalan ng saysay ang buhay dahil sa pattern, normalcy at conformity. malas ko, ako ay mesohuman, average lang talaga. i live almost entirely on patterns and schedules. buti na lang medyo meron akong impulsive tendencies (oo, meron)at nagkakaron ng konting thrill, kung thrill na maitatawag yun, ang buhay ko. good thing i won't have to "decide to die", yet. and besides, hindi ako suicidal.mga loser lang ang nagpapakamatay. sa kabilang banda, wala nga pala akong karapatang manghusga ng iba. sumasakit lang ang ulo ko sa pag-iisip, tama na nga 'to.

darn

good news: hindi na sosobra sa limang araw ang itatagal ng summer classes. yay! ciao chem31! ciao math 1!


bad news:ciao nga ba tlga? o aloha na pwedeng goodbye or hello? arrrgh!! nakakabaliw. masyado ng madugo ang chem 31. habang tumatagal ang discussion para sa 4th exam, parami ng parami ang bagay na hindi ko maintindihan. habang nauubos ang pages ng manual namin, nauubos na rin ang pasensya ko.


pero di bale konting tiis na lang. konting tiis na lang.. pasukan na naman ulit! kainis 'no? mga tatlo hanggang apat na linggo na lang, first sem na naman. pero second year na. onga no second year na ko... asteeeg ang bilis. dalawang taon pa (at sana dalawang taon na lang) nurse na ko. di ko pa alam kung anong mangyayari sa kin pagkatapos nun pero ang mahalaga e grumaduate ako ng buo.


just thinking aloud: minsan hindi rin mabuti ang masyadong nagmamagandang loob...


sana matuloy yung sa sunday ;)

On my LAUNCHcast: Thursday- Signals over the Air
Comments: ok na ok. emo.
Rating: ****