Friday, October 20, 2006

yearbook layouts

yearbook layouts

in my defense

in my defense
funerals strike the most peculiar chords. well for one, i do not know how to react... or i choose not to. i'm not used to hysteria and crying (at least in funerals) is not my thing, even if i wanted it to be. no, im not holding it in. guilt settles and i decide maybe i am just not the good friend i think i am. then suddenly, everybody wants to be my therapist.
soon enough, my friends became class A diagnosticians. ah...what a twisted world.

a word from the wise: everybody deals differently. although i am devastated by the untimely demise of a dear friend, i am incapable of utter melancholia. now, quit discussing my so-called dissociative ego and let's get on with our lives. call it denial and hell, maybe i am denying it, but for now, i just refuse to believe Freudian psychoanalysis.

on another note,somehow it occurs to me that as much as death is inevitable it is not the ultimate end but our rite of passage to eternity. yet we do not always expect the Grim Reaper to send us a notice of eviction everytime. sometimes, with reasons beyond our human capacities, it just happens. what's sad i guess, is the realization that in one way or another, just as the song goes, everyone who lives will someday die... and die alone.

and what finally becomes of those who are left here to live? sadness... yes. regrets, guilt... probably. nostalgia... definitely. and all that's left are the memories and the promise that if we learn to dwell on today, tomorrow as our time comes we will look back on a life well lived.