taft me now

taft me now

person A: "bakit parang ang sakit sa baga ng hangin?"

me: "friend, behold...this is taft."

beloved taft avenue's air pollution levels have gone totally out of control. as in literally, you breathe in smoke and dust plus, if you're lucky enough, the aroma of either rotting garbage (read as gar-badge) or shit (apparently, a lot of people think taft is just a long stretch of toilet cubicles). if you wouldn't die getting run over by an 18-wheeler truck that sees red as "go", you would, however, from apparent intoxication, carbon monoxide poisoning and/or later development of a lung disease, you choose...

in times like this, when i'm on the verge of serious toxicity, what with all the papers and school stuff i have to do, the exams and all, the toxic soup that is the air, is not helping at all. more so, it worsens the condition. as a proof, now, i have colds, tenacious phlegm and migraine. i may not live to see the day when people start bringing with them oxygen tanks to work, to school or just when they want to take a stroll down taft (for whatever reason, i could not comprehend). or this might happen quicker than we could say "taftavenuesucksthelifeoutofme".
anyway, if you want to live longer stay away from places like taft. or if you can't, repent now, start changing your life, who knows? taft might just take dear life...

i know he will. :p

you might have heard about this

you might have heard about this...

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it. I don't even drink coffee!!!)

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it! Now, that's what I call weapon of mass destruction.)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G.!)

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(Everybody wants to be a pig now on their next life.)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death!
(Creepy.)
(I'm still not over the pig.)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour
(Don't try this at home, maybe at work)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!")

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes..lucky pig! Can you imagine?)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)

Butterflies taste with their feet.

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hmmmmmm......)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(okay, so that would be a good thing)

A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that one out?)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

(I know some people like that)

Starfish have no brains.
(I know some people like that too.)

Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig??)