don't want anything fancy

don't want anything fancy

just a simple greeting. thanks for putting up with me for two years. you are technically my longest online relationship (considering there are none). here's to many more years of bashing, lambasting and plain old angsty joyful blogging.

Happy Birthday Bloggy!

try Googling failure.

hit the I'm Feeling Lucky button.

voila!

google has a warped sense of humor...

this is what nothing else to do is like

this is what nothing else to do is like

i swore to sanity i'd take this break seriously and if it ever came to that point, i'll be "careering" it to death. i'm officially officially on break mode meaning laziness levels are like up to a 100+

and as expected, nothing blogworthy, or anything i'd rather openly share on this journal ;) has happened over the past few days. my time is spent mostly in bed or on the couch either sleeping or making up for lost quality time with the tv. or in any case, i'll be busy geeky-fying myself. neurocizing! as how, the demi-goddess of ultra-geekiness, heavens bless her, Zafra (see, even the name parallels the ring of the Hindu godof destruction Shiva) would put it.

currently, i'm on the greek mythology diet and memories of our high school english class plays suddenly come to mind. couldn't help but laugh. our group as i recall, chose to perform pygmalion and galatea, not because we liked it, but because it was short and it was easy to portray plus, there were i think less characters needed. this was freshman year. so Pygmalion was this woman hater guy/ sculptor who ironically enough, fell in love with one of his works, Galatea. naturally, a non-livng thing as a sculpture made of stone and ivory could not respond to the worldly desires of men, so with this dissatisfaction and, dare i say, perversion, Pygmalion prayed that Venus would make Galatea real and they could have real sex (of course, that was not directly stated in the text, but only a moron would say this was not implied!). so anyway, being the hopeless romantic goddess of love that she is, she agreed to Pygmalion's wishes. Galatea was now human, of flesh and blood and passionate desires. it all boils down to the two having sex (again this is implied) and ultimately bearing a child. everybody gets some and lives happily ever after. end of text.

as a high school freshie, so innocent and naive, uncorrupted with the ways of the world, i actually thought it was all fairytale like. but now that i'm more learned, and i actually get to think about it, i say, it's creepy. sends shivers. think Pinocchio. and imagine Gepetto was actually a phedophile? freaky huh? this is exactly what happens in the myth of Pygmalion and Galatea. think again. does the Machete series actually allude to this tale of smouldering passion and desire? more like it.

so what is it actually telling us? that weird sexual preferences are favoured by the divine? that the perv gets away with it because of his extreme desire and passion? or that hope and prayer prevails?

i don't actually know. i'm too freaked out to.

people love complaining

people love complaining

i have been extremely lethargic lately, and the worst part? i shouldn't be. not now, not with all the stuff i should be doing for the semester's end. i'm on slow-mo and the world (or at least my academic world) is on fast-forward turbo. i can't keep up.

and as if a great conspiracy is at work, i'm having migraine twinges...again. with episodes of nausea.now, i literally cannot function. i suspect a certain undisclosed person caused me to have migraine attacks. oh if words could kill...if only they could... you are sooo dead right now.

plus, i ran out of meds (or i lost it, can't remember, too tired to think). it's prescription and i lost the damned piece of shit paper. so how is this? we're supposed to go gallery visiting again at 10 and my head is still throbbing. it doesn't get any better than this.

sembreak is like a few steps away, but i can't feel it. make me.

what the fuck were you thinking?

this was what i have been avoiding all along...

and although i thrive on stress

this is not the kind i'd rather be living on.

got it?

but then again, maybe not.

on giving up

on giving up
one day you wake up. you're late for class but you can't seem to get yourself out of bed. every movement is a feat, a bitter pill to swallow. you wish everything would just go away, or better, if you could just go, diasppear into oblivion. if only sleep could wash away the burden.

your fate is resigned, you decide.and you give up. for some reason, you just can't continue going on anymore. you have been so fed up with life.you have finally reached super saturation. you need to stop, breathe and think. recollect your thoughts. vent your feelings. cry if you must. after all, repression is breeding ground for rage.

after which, you get a clearer view, a broader perspective. either you go on or give up altogether. at most times, you continue at other less frequent times, you don't. you weigh your options, you either stay or get out of the system. you want out. you realize you are just human and life as one is not without its limitations.

sometimes giving up doesn't mean defeat but rather holding on, to life, hope and sanity. when life blows hurricanes your way, you don't resist. instead, you bend with the direction of the blow. in the end, you remain standing, you survive, molded and strengthened by the wind.

this might be a terrible attempt at consolation... but i certainly hope it will do. :)