angel

angel

this was one of our patients at burn. the angel had an electrical burn accident in his tushie. how sad :c

it's when you have much that you are expected to give...

it's when you have much that you are expected to give...

an unexpected turn of events happened this week. you expect the best just because the worst scares the hell out of you. the best offers much hope that everything will get better...sooner. and i guess when it comes to that, we are all on the same boat.

...and it is when you have much that giving is hardest.

economics

economics

it couldn't be any better than this.

i ditched school to actually savor my week off. plus, i didn't feel like sitting through an hour and a half of Economics11, pretending to listen but actually feeling like sh*t for having to endure the whole she-bang. i think my travel time and fare would be not worth that class anyway (approx 3.5 hrs of travel vs. 1.5 hrs of econ11... so not worth it!).

so instead i stayed home today. did way more important stuff like sleep, tend to my latest addiction yet again, update my blog and play slave to my playlist. i could maybe later, read some notes if i find time. :)

well another good thing about staying home is i don't get to spend my allowance. yay!

i just got news that the prof cancelled class today...now i'm elated! :)

PS: it's weird... i think i'm liking the new mary jblige cd. although liking 2 tracks is not (too) definitive, right?

addiction

fresh produce from my latest addiction (no, not myself, you buffoon! well, maybe a little...)

i love the color combination and the contrast between the calculus notes and the stars and flowers :) maybe this is why i never did get calculus back in senior high :p

i got the inspiration from somewhere...

doing a hundred and eighty on the runway

doing a hundred and eighty on the runway

watching Devil Wears Prada at 5am is worth losing sleep for. it was like
watching over 120 minutes of the fashion channel, only better. the ensembles
were well put together and in themselves already worth every minute. more
than the story, much of the stressful anticipation was on what Andy (Anne
Hathaway) would be wearing next and actually trying to figure out how(ever)
could anyone run in 4-inch stilletos?

there's really nothing new with the story and we might have heard of it a
hundred times but what the heck, Meryl Streep (i'm really not to keen on
spelling) delivers. Cruella deville ditches the fur, wears Prada (from head-to-toe) and turns into
the grand master of the Holy Grail of fashion, Runway magazine. and that
hair... must be worth a can of hair spray. her mere presence made my guts go
acrobatic and the finality with which she utters every statement is just
nerve-wracking. she is neither bida nor contrabida. she actually transcends the
protagonist-antagonist definition and takes it to the level of, dare i
say...goddess.

the moral of the story: great success doesn't come free. the question is, how much are you willing to pay for it?

the devil can afford prada. beware.

sunset

sunset

we were pretty much all bored and broke last thursday and a brilliant idea came to me, to check out the world famous manila bay sunset.

i remember our lectures on philippine tourist spots back in grade school and the postcards of the manila bay sunset displayed on racks at the bookstore and i wondered why i haven't seen that picture-perfect sunset before. and so we went to baywalk. it was just past 5:30. weather forecasts said the sun would set at about that time. we hurriedly walked to roxas blvd..

then lo and behold... we were there. it was nothing like the pictures. it's pathetic. the bay area was full of litter, plastic bags, trash and godknowswhat and the stench was horrible, so horrible that we couldn't get closer than 10 feet from the ledge. well, i tried getting closer but i was repelled by that awful smell which was like a force field which kept everyone from getting nearer. everytime a wave crashes on the ledge and droplets of seawater cross it, we would go as far as we can to avoid it. the water might have turned into an extremely corrosive chemical. who knows?

the sea was the color of the pavement we were walking on and not the deep blue that it ought to be. it was actually depressing . the sunset i went there for was nowhere in sight, probably hidden behind the clouds. even the sun didn't want to see manila bay anymore.

now i know, why baywalk is only famous at night.

the most self-centered post ever

the most self-centered post ever

i miss: going to rock gigs at UP. it's almost july. why isn't there one yet?

i want: lots of money. more money than i need. even more money than i could imagine.

i hate: our economics professor. he's such a perv. i also hate sharon and everything she's related with.

i have: lost faith on at least one person.

i fear: growing old.

i play: with my hands when nobody's looking.

i hear: myself cursing in my mind and saying "it's all good" with my mouth.

i care: so much for a lot of things- the environment, my country, humanity. only i'm too lazy.

i smile: even when i'm not smiling at all.

i wonder: how much money i'll get if i sold one friend on ebay just to know how much he/she is worth. ebay is so cool.

i love: to think i'm different and better than everyone else. i'm not.

i think: some people hear only what they want to hear and some people hear but they don't listen.

i always: look at people inside cars on the highway and makeup stories about them in my head.

i am not: what you think i am.

i sing: a lot in the shower. honestly :) and i think i sing pretty well there. what happens out of it is beyond me.

i wish: i'd never have to worry about money again ever.

i keep: a lot of things to myself.

i can: care less if i wanted to.

i can't: resist the urge of wanting to answer posts like this.

i write: on arm chairs.

i won: something at a radio contest. i never claimed my prize.

i lost: a lot of weight since last summer.

i smell: like i always do.

i confuse: myself a lot. i am very fickle.

i need: to gain weight. get me some IV lard stat!

i should: probably take some time off and go to some place far to preserve my sanity. city life is driving me nuts.

the dead man's chest

the dead man's chest

-i am greatly reminded of Ober Da Bakod the movie (circa 90's). i therefore conclude that when you get marooned on an island, natives will eventually find you and would want to cook you. the lucky ones get hailed as gods. yes, even cannibalism is cliche.

-it builds up like a racecar, shifts gears, accelerates and midway, it just runs out of batteries.

-and what's with kiera knightley anyway?

ICU

ICU

just when you start to have some organization and actually plan for the immediate future, classes are suspended.
actually, the class suspension yesterday was fabulous. we didn't have to sit through a whole afternoon of bore (read as: STS). plus, i really couldn't wait to get home. the rain earlier in the morning seeped into my shoes and soaked my pristine white stockings. i had to endure the wetness practically all morning. eww gross!

but another suspension?

it's just not right. despicable timing. time is precious and i had actually a day's worth of planned activities postponed. how utterly annoying!

now we have to move everything on friday which is, at least for me, not an entirely good day to work. plus, i have other stuff planned for friday. equally important stuff.

god i hate these delays.

ER

this has got to be the culmination of my student career. although i still do not envision a futurewith the emergency department (owing to my sluggish pace), i find it rather challenging intellectually, physically and well yes believe it or not, emotionally.

#1 at the emergency department (ED) you have to have guts of steel to endure the stench of stale air, urine, blood(and other body fluids) and godknowswhat! double masks are poor defenses. and the heat, gahd the heat, the poor ventilation... it was hoorrrribbble.

#2 after a couple of days, i was desensitized. constant gory scenes
are bound to bore you and after a while, they just get uhmmm...
really irritating.

#3 it's not really as dramatic as it is on TV. media just adds the
unnecessary hype for the effects. although there really are some
quite pseudodramatic cases like a couple brought to the ED after
stabbing each other in a heated argument (talk about brutal love...)
or a man who lost a finger and nearly lost an arm in a hacking
incident.

#4 you have to be prepared for anything. even and including death.
and what comes before and after it. you even have to be ready to
literally wait for death and accept that in fact it is inevitable
and to deal with loss and grieving of, if not your own, the family
of the departed. it is better to have flat than fake emotions.

burn

burn

so much for that caring, positive nurse crap. it's definitely driving me to the edge and i'm done with it. it took me this long to realize that in fact, not all patients appreciate that. that it takes a certain level of maturity in their part, perhaps even a touch of common sense to do so. that to be overly "kind" and "caring" can be misinterpreted and abused... several times. and that this could all lead to the ultimate burnout.

the problem: as much as i want to screw the cheery, positivist b.s. and ditch all the pleasantries everytime my patient drives me nuts, my clinical instructor would pass by. not wanting to endanger my academic survival, i would (but unwillingly) swallow the urge to be monster nurse and turn into the angel that they expect us to be, sans the wings (feathers are potent allergens).

my patient is a 16 yr old egoistic, manipulative, misogynistic crybaby and i am the nurse who seriously needs an anger management therapist.

ad absurdum

ad absurdum

malls being the Meccas of Philippine society, are perfect venues for just about anything. in fact, in the last decade, more malls have been built than hospitals. and with the desire to lure a money-spending market, malls cease to be rows of commercial stalls in an enclosed, air-conditioned space. now, malls have gardens, activity centers, fountains, playgrounds and swimming pools and even mini-churches!

because of these rather interesting addendums ergo wider market, the mall has been the place of choice for album launches, mall shows and even blood donating activities! wow. now people will be spared of the unnecessary activity of going to blood banks.

as activity centers where blood letting events are held are usually located on broad hollow spaces in the middle of the mall, you can lie down on make shift beds (what luxury!) in front of hundreds of onlookers (yes even activities as such aren't spared from onlookers) as blood is literally drained out of you along with the other muscled and tattooed (occasionally long-haired) men lying beside you. but not to worry, entertainment of highest quality is provided as talented people from your neighborhood convenience (read as:sari-sari) store serenade you with a guitar and tracks that will sure fire up the blood (oops...). it is just ingenious. Robina "snake-twin" Gokongwei is killing stiff competition with mall tycoon Henry "we've-got-it-all" Sy with this bloody attractions.

no one can tell what will happen next...

this is not good

this is not good

i caught a whiff.

difficult courses. even more difficult teachers.

that definitely spells disaster in big, bold, red screaming letters:

DISASTER

now it's a head on-collision to another semester. bless our souls Lord!

it's never too late

it's never too late for a birthday greeting

HAPPY BIRTHDAY evol! :)

*hover cursor over hyperlink

20 utterly random facts

20 utterly random facts you need not know (but will probably read anyway) about myself:

1. i have been supporting public transportation for nearly 8 years and counting.
2. i am a sloth. i eat, sleep, watch TV and don't exercise.
3. i feel/feel that i look smarter with my glasses on. :p
4. a classmate from first yr high school christened me with my nickname egay and has actually a pseudo-logical explanation for it.
5. and i have been called that ever since.
6. there are actually more than 10 other nicknames derived from egay.
7. i want to gain weight on all the right places.
8. i secretly hope for fairer skin sometimes, nevertheless i enjoy being brown.
9. my yahoo id is my first name spelled backwards with an underscore in between.
10. i was a slave of the TV.
11. i am a videoke/karaoke freak.
12. i believe i can live on spaghetti alone.
13. i am habitually tardy.
14. i am secretly a fan of mandy moore.
15. i don't like undue attention and almost all kinds of confrontation.
16. i have and with all shame, at some point backstabbed a friend and i regret doing so .
17. i love Burger King anything.
18. sometimes ( well yeah, all the time!) when i don't have anything to do on the bus ride home, i eavesdrop on other peoples' conversations and based on those facts, infer what their lives must be like on my mind.
19. once, on the bus, someone told me he was bisexual. talk about unnecessary info!
20. i can't believe how malas i am sometimes and if i would rate myself as on a malas scale of 0 to 5, 0 being the lowest, i'd say i am a 4.

aboard the 10 o'clock bus

aboard the 10 o' clock bus
i thrive on public transport. and as usual, i woke up extra early to meet my cousin for my last call to summer and her last call to a college degree. we agreed to catch the 10AM bus trip from cubao to pangasinan. i was basically hitching and the trip wasn't booked and everything else was all last-minute. we were practically banking on hope.

as we reached the terminal, a bus was leaving, there was no way we could catch it. not with the heavy baggage we had. the next trip to our destination was an ordinary bus. the other choice was an air-conditioned bus that leaves at 12:00. time is of the essence. in short, we had no choice but to take the friggin' ordinary bus.

yes i do live on PUVs, but i despise ordinary buses as much as i loathe ordinary buses in the city. my cousin practically dragged me up the bus and strapped me to the seat. i was fervently hoping for a 16-ton wonder, an airconditioned bus that would take me out of that heat-laden mess. 10AM is a hot time to travel and this was going to be one heck of a long hot ride to my summer vacation.

as we were the first ones to board the bus, we were seated up front. really up front. where we could see everyone who came in, came out and made a scene. i practically grew up on buses so i know for a fact that at least 1 person in the bus in the span of one and a half hours would make a scene. that makes a 2-3 person average for a 4 hour trip. and that's on a good day...

the trip that day was not quite good, but for the change of scenery, it was worth it.

let's not do that again.

the big bad brother

the big bad wolf brother the idea of blind obedience is pretty interesting at first. taking orders from a mysterious voice talent, that has got to be something. add that to the almost certain drama of detaining emotionally driven teenagers in a house with cameras rolling 24/7. our chismis genes sense heavy gossip action here.

but when the mysterious pseudo-omnipresent/omniscient/omnipotent persona turns out to be a mean, ratings-hungry, power-tripping bastard, its a whole new different story. abhorrence begins where amusement ends.

what i actually mean is, playing a classified conversation on the in house PA system, now, that is just mean. and for said conversation to actually cause quite a stir in the PBB house and the fact that it was played for all including those not concerned to hear, well that is just plain evil. it is uncalled-for, below-the-belt and utterly evil.

and they actually have the nerve to tell me that there was a life lesson to be learned in all this. like what? tactlessness? come on! spare me the b.s. everyone knows you're in it for the rating. for a media mogul like ABS, life lessons are certainly not first of its concerns. the point is, viewers are smarter now, and they (myself included) can sense unnecessary cover-ups if there are any, to disregard that fact, ergo, assuming viewers are passive and stupid... (well, actually some are as stupid as you think), is a major crime.

this is sick.

PS: i didn't watch PBB for the past episodes and i don't think i would watch it soon if not ever. this is a vow and i swear upon the rock on which my pc stands.

PPS: and this is just one of the major atrocities of the said show.

*pic courtesy of frytz

antisocial friend

antisocial

hope my antisocial friend doesn't kill me for this :)

*kudos to http://sedricke.fotopic.net for the wonderful digital pics

new template

new template

hope you like... im still adjusting to the feel. feel free to comment. and please, it's not green it's turquoise (supposed to be :p).

the results of my geekhood

the results of my geekhood

my suspicions have been confirmed i am exactly 19.52663% geek, which makes me a Geek geek.