oathtaking

The idea of cramming in tens of thousands of people in an enclosed space had me suspicious. Especially that I already had my doubts with the event organizers founded on the poorly planned sytem (or lack thereof) of the NLE application filing for the June 2007 Board Exams. My suspicions were affirmed, somehow ominously, by the sucky weather on the day of the Oathtaking and the rather ambivalent cabbie who drove us to the venue. He had my eyeballs rolling at dangerously blinding degrees with his account of the road situation at the various routes we could take going to Araneta Center, as if we hadn't already known that a) traffic was bad especially in this weather and b) yes, it was probably flooded.

Then I had sort of an epiphany of all the taxi rides I have been in my whole life and I realized, how much stressful these rides were, which totally defeats the purpose of taking them in the first place.

We arrived in Araneta an hour and a half later than scheduled, I blame it partly on the weather, and the rest on my genetic predisposition to be tardy. Luckily, there had been a delay with the program because apparently the guest speaker was likewise marooned due to heavy rains. The ceremonies, dare I call it, have just started when I finally got to where my friends were.

As if it was not enough that we had the attention span of hummingbirds, the volume of people, nurses at that, inside the Coliseum, was overwhelmingly distracting. So trying to pay attention to the speaker's cookie cutter speech was a real struggle. From where I sat, all I could see where tiny other nurses in white. The Araneta Coliseum suddenly became a gigantic ant hill of tiny white ants who move and talk as if it were a single unit. A single mutinous ant, backed by thousands of likewise mutinous but far more cowardly ones, could only mean stampede. But fortunately, nothing of that sort happened. People there, well just as Joy Behar's aunt would put it, just remained.


So ok, we were there, now what?

Ironically, that summarizes my life so far. I have hurdled the test and am now a professional nurse but what happens next is all a mishmash. But don't get me wrong. I have plans. Oh I have lots of them. I have future end goals, and milestones I wish to achieve are deeply planted in the cortices of my brain. I know what I want, where I'd go, but it seems I do not know how the hell I'm going to get there.

And now, I wander.

inasal and italian

Graci to my former professor, current boss, Prof. Shiela who told me all about it, Sed, Kareeza and I (the super draggable trio) met for a mid evening rendezvous at the CCP for the Italian Film Fest screening of Pana e Tulipani (Bread and Tulips). Despite the seemingly unbearable facts that I was finally succumbing to mumps, Kareeza still had to come from Katips, Sed was terribly hungry and the annoying drizzle was not helping, we were off to the movies.

Fortunately or unfortunately, Italian movies or maybe Italians par se, can be quite a distraction. So much that I totally forgot about the subtitle for the first 5 minutes of the show. I'm not sure if its the heavily passionate Italian or the utterly tacky clothes that looked straight out of German Moreno's wardrobe. I mean, come on! a silver wind breaker? What the hell are they thinking?


Pana e tulipani tells the story of housewife, Rosalba, at a crossroad (literally or figuratively) on her middle-aged life, of finding freedom from her tyrnannical husband and her highly domesticated life in the most beautiful of places and of rediscovering her life's passion. It is mid-life crisis told almost in a dream with a large helping of comic relief

In a world which hails bubblegum pop and a culture of swooning over matinee idols and teenage girls in mid-rifs, middle-aged romance may not be on everyone's comfort zone. I mean it's not even cute. But they nailed it! With witty dialogues, sarcasmic undertones, unpretentious scenes and wonderful, wonderful Venice, it won our hearts over.

After the movie, grumbling protests from our stomachs declared we should probably eat lest we want to be malnourished, not that we still aren't. So the three of us decided to have dinner just across the CCP. There were a variety of dine places to choose from, we picked Inasal for the very convenient reason, thanks to Kareeza, that it does not have a branch in Katipunan. Well, as for Sed and I, we just wanted food.

scientific evidence to dispprove summer class

in case you haven't heard april 24 marks the beginning of my unemployment (a.k.a. graduation day). although i'm a little bit disappointed that i won't be getting any award for graduation (pardon, the explicit g.c.-ness and abuse of parentheses), i'm relieved that finally, i'm done with school and have at last earned that much awaited degree. however, the relief, at least for us, is short-lived as the looming terror of the board exams hover over our elation. under the cloudless sky and scorching heat of the sun, therefore, there is a dire need to attend review classes.

we haven't even gone through the formalities yet and here we are butt fastened tight to our classroom seats, inducing information hemorrhage while our brains fry under the horrible summer heat figuratively and maybe even literally.

well, there's literature to prove that we may be literally frying our brains off, that heat could actually affect brain processes. as anything that does work produces heat, so does the brain. overthinking could actually cause the brain to "overheat", so to speak, and eventually lead to brain damage. if you think this could be the perfect excuse to do away with summer review, think again. there's a far better scientific rationalization to dismiss most if not all structured summer learning.

our bodies are equipped with natural temperature control mechanisms. excessive body temperature, brain temp included, can be dissipated to the environment as we perspire and give off heat. sadly, this process becomes less effective when enivronmental temperatures rise, as in summer. when this happens, the brain,to compensate,is forced to decreased its activity below acceptable standards. Ergo, a person appears sluggish, exhibits fragmented thought, mental instability and more commonly, general sleepiness (finally, an explanation for dozing off!), making summer review classes futile and utterly pointless!

science is just so cool.

Reference : Overclock Your Brain by Lyle Zapato 2006-07-24 http://zapatopi.net/blog/?post=200607249460.overclock_your_brain

new template

this is my first take on blog design, it caused a little bit of headache,
so be kind and feel free to comment. ;)

will be updating people soon.

ciao!

me, my hair and i

when i became a self-conscious adolescent i started questioning why i have lots of hair and just about everybody else doesn't. as if it wasn't enough that i got loads of them sticking out my scalp, thick, coarse and irritatingly wavy locks crown my glory. and it isn't fun, if at all funny. i have a theory that if i shaved off my head i'll be 2 pounds lighter in under 15 minutes making it the fastest, most efficient weight loss regimen in the planet.

when i roll it in a bun, it's massiveness would be enough to throw me off balance with the slightest push. when i tie it in a pony tail, by midday my scalp would be aching by the constant pull of the weight of my hair. by that time, i would be needing pain killers to function. if it's in a braid, it wouldn't be as cute as it should. how could it, when its thick enough to dock a ship? if i let my hair down, all hell will break loose. hair iron and blower would take forever, the salon almost charges me for the extra electricity. i couldn't even risk using hair product because the effect would be leaving a coat of grease that would hinder air circulation, giving me a nasty headache, which is so not worth it. just now, i tried my luck on side-swept bangs. didn't work. too much volume makes it look poofy when its supposed to be flat. a bob is out of the question, because i am not getting one. it's hideous and it reminds me of how i looked back in high school. two words: not good.

i tried having it straightened once to get the limp lifeless look. the effect? waves started showing days after and the ends have been damaged by the straightening formula, which made it look more like a native broom. well, i haven 't tried getting a perm but its just because no matter how i want the 70s to be back, it wouldn't be and nobody's ready to go afro. not just yet.

there had been confrontations and endless sessions on the discussion of my hair. people would tell me "maganda nga yan. makapal buhok mo." (its nice that your hair is thick) but they do not know any better. the truth is, it sucks when your hair is coarse, thick and unmanageable, when it's neither straight nor curly. it sucks when no amount of conditioner can hold it down. it sucks when you can't use hair product or you can't even have decent bangs. it sucks that people sell products to thicken hair but none to make it thinner.

it sucks in so many different levels and i'm tired of it.

adieu

until we meet again

Nagcarlan was harsh at first. it was unforgiving to the unknowing as it beats the spirit up black and blue. everything was new and unfamiliar. amenities are always less than at the city and for the urban-bred creatures that we were, everyday survival was a feat in itself. we learned that to survive, we had to rely on one another for support, for a pat in the back, for that tug on our reins when we seem to have lost control, for happiness and for friendship. yes, it had not been always easy. individuality would assert our differences and the struggle to survive in a new environment vis-a-vis the enormous efforts we make to try to incorporate 12 other people in our circle all at the same time was a challenge we thought we wouldn't get past through. confrontations and silent squabbles gnawed at our very being.

with our desire to make life worth living in Nagcarlan at least for 8 weeks, we settled our differences, laid our cards on the table and worked towards peaceful coexistence. and i think, even at a silent level, everyone agreed that living together and going through the same experiences, kept us bonded. seriously, we deserve an award for all that we've been through.

in the end, we emerge from the provincial cocoon, stronger and more mature. who had ever thought life would still be worth living without an internet connection? more than the experience, i value the life lessons that seem to have been magnified a thousand times more. we have our beloved Barangay Palina to thank for that.

sure i'll miss a lot of things, the food, the air even the mud that so often had our feet but not as much as i'll miss the people who have shown us friendship more than anything else.

now it's over. i guess what's sad about goodbyes is knowing that at some point, goodbye, especially ones that are unsaid, would be forever.

straight from a Hallmark greeting card

thanks for all the well-wishes and prayers...

I'm well on my way to recovery now.

grazie!

you know what else is stupid?

getting sick in the new year is.

Sigh! I have herpes zoster and it's wreaking as much havoc in my life as it can. It's painful and hell, it's ugly! No, it's not venereal. It's more of the price I pay for pushing myself to my human limits. Lack of sleep and inadequate nutrition (read as: laziness to eat) has finally got me. I lead an unhealthy life as opposed to what I am preaching as a nurse. My resistance fell to dangerous levels. Hence, opportunistic viruses such as the herpes zoster virus took the chance to bite my ass... err... my entire right abdomen, at least.

So here's how it goes...

When we get chicken pox as children, our body fights off the virus by creating antibodies against it. Some of the virus, because of the threat of virus-destroying antibodies, would remain dormant in our peripheral nerves, that is, they would remain inactive until the threat disappears. Normally, our body's resistance would be enough to keep the virus dormant. However, when our resistance goes down due to circumstances like lack of sleep and malnutrition (I experienced both), our antibodies would become less vigilant and hence, the virus would come back with avengeance in the form of herpes zoster a.k.a. shingles.

With its reactivation, the virus would travel down the peripheral nerve and to the skin to manifest as a rash that quickly progresses on to a blister, a painful one at that! Since only one side of the body is supplied by a particular peripheral nerve, the lesions would grow only on one side and would never cross the midline. I got mine on my right and it's killing me!

Communicability wise, it is highly communicable via contact, BUT only to those who haven't had chicken pox yet. Shingles par se cannot be transferred. Although that is the case, the pain remains to be a BIG issue here. Some even say that the pain lingers several months even after the lesions are gone- post herpetic neuralgia. I'm just hoping I wouldn't have that.

There's really no way to speed up the healing but to strengthen the immunity. Pain killers are helpful to decrease the nuisance. I was given steroids to decrease the inflammation. I stopped taking them midway but the pain killers I can't live without.

For the meantime, I miss work. Tons of it are waiting for me in Nagcarlan and i really can't wait to haul myself there. Since when have i been a workaholic?

Just let this be a lesson to all. :)

boom, crash, bang

lessons i learned in 2006:

1. the world wouldn't stop with death. it will mourn but it will move on.

2. health is wealth. multivitamins and vaccines are the best investments.

3. what goes up, must come crashing 23 storeys down.

4. passion, is what makes a person. and i have yet to find mine...

5. if you want to know sanity, try visiting the psych ward.

6. letting go is better said than done.

7. forever... maybe. but friends growing apart and drifting away- now that's a cold, hard fact.

8. the purity and innocence of a child is priceless. they can, without bias, recognize which really are "matters of consequence".

9. love and hate is actually divided by a very thin and fragile line.

10. what you see is different from what is.

11. something about being on time... but then again, maybe not!

12. the person i want to be and the person people expect me to become tears me apart.

13. not everyone understands. but some try.

14. i would like to believe i'm just being judgemental for fun.

15. you can't expect everyone to like you (or what you do) so live with it.

16. there are some people you just don't like. they get on your nerves just by mere existence. and when they talk, all hell breaks loose... at least in your head. so take my word for it: it takes less energy to walk away.

17. what you say may be different from what you mean. so don't flatter.

18. you can navigate the net without understanding a word. proof?-- try this

19. sometimes, people can be self-centered b*tches.

20. i still have a lot to learn. the real world scares me. it takes more than an academic bachelor's degree to face the world head on.

new template

do you like/hate my new updo? please leave comments...

will be coming up with posts as soon as i finish our research proposal!

christmas rush

christmas rush

most people in my circle would agree that Christmas has been less assertive this year. for a number of reasons i suppose. for one, as people grow older (admit it, senesence is inevitable) Christmas seems to be a lot less Christmas-sy. for another, last minute requirements seem to pile up and drown us all with deadlines so that we forget to notice Christmas. and yearly, i guess, more and more people, at least just in our subdivision, do not bother with Christmas decors anymore. it's sad, if you come to think of it.

i just finished my holiday shopping today and a word for the wise: never ever do your christmas shopping with minis, tank tops or flip flops unless you want to end up freezing your way through the frickin' mall. gahd i nearly got frostbites, seriously... anyways, hope you guys are enjoying the break. as for me, christmas break remains to be inexistent. darn.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!

definitely back but not quite

definitely back but not quite

yes, i'm back and i have missed a lot of things. my bloggy's third birthday for one. so before anything else;

BELATED HAPPY 3rd BIRTHDAY BLOGGY!

and here's to many more out-of-this-world moments :p

i'll be redoing my template as soon as I get out of the toxicity of my last semester in college (woohoo!) and that is in, say, 5 months at the latest. but don't worry bloggy, i'll get it done. i promise.

i hear a friend is willing to do my template?? i hope its for free. otherwise,what are friends are for? hehe.

so there, sorry if this is in thought salad fashion. but then again, who cares?

another useless post

well, here's another pointless post. here's my first try on creating vectors out of pictures. hehe.

this is my friend tin as a winking vector fairy :)

and this is me. yikes! :p

yearbook layouts

yearbook layouts

in my defense

in my defense
funerals strike the most peculiar chords. well for one, i do not know how to react... or i choose not to. i'm not used to hysteria and crying (at least in funerals) is not my thing, even if i wanted it to be. no, im not holding it in. guilt settles and i decide maybe i am just not the good friend i think i am. then suddenly, everybody wants to be my therapist.
soon enough, my friends became class A diagnosticians. ah...what a twisted world.

a word from the wise: everybody deals differently. although i am devastated by the untimely demise of a dear friend, i am incapable of utter melancholia. now, quit discussing my so-called dissociative ego and let's get on with our lives. call it denial and hell, maybe i am denying it, but for now, i just refuse to believe Freudian psychoanalysis.

on another note,somehow it occurs to me that as much as death is inevitable it is not the ultimate end but our rite of passage to eternity. yet we do not always expect the Grim Reaper to send us a notice of eviction everytime. sometimes, with reasons beyond our human capacities, it just happens. what's sad i guess, is the realization that in one way or another, just as the song goes, everyone who lives will someday die... and die alone.

and what finally becomes of those who are left here to live? sadness... yes. regrets, guilt... probably. nostalgia... definitely. and all that's left are the memories and the promise that if we learn to dwell on today, tomorrow as our time comes we will look back on a life well lived.

missed

missed
well, in case you haven't noticed, i have been on a blogging hiatus lately. not that it is of my choice really, but psych is taking up all my time and energy (and this is an understatement). plus, miranda priestly just got into my life. so much so that i have been constantly moody these past few days... er... weeks.

i'll be blogging a longer post soon. promise :)

angel

angel

this was one of our patients at burn. the angel had an electrical burn accident in his tushie. how sad :c

it's when you have much that you are expected to give...

it's when you have much that you are expected to give...

an unexpected turn of events happened this week. you expect the best just because the worst scares the hell out of you. the best offers much hope that everything will get better...sooner. and i guess when it comes to that, we are all on the same boat.

...and it is when you have much that giving is hardest.

economics

economics

it couldn't be any better than this.

i ditched school to actually savor my week off. plus, i didn't feel like sitting through an hour and a half of Economics11, pretending to listen but actually feeling like sh*t for having to endure the whole she-bang. i think my travel time and fare would be not worth that class anyway (approx 3.5 hrs of travel vs. 1.5 hrs of econ11... so not worth it!).

so instead i stayed home today. did way more important stuff like sleep, tend to my latest addiction yet again, update my blog and play slave to my playlist. i could maybe later, read some notes if i find time. :)

well another good thing about staying home is i don't get to spend my allowance. yay!

i just got news that the prof cancelled class today...now i'm elated! :)

PS: it's weird... i think i'm liking the new mary jblige cd. although liking 2 tracks is not (too) definitive, right?

addiction

fresh produce from my latest addiction (no, not myself, you buffoon! well, maybe a little...)

i love the color combination and the contrast between the calculus notes and the stars and flowers :) maybe this is why i never did get calculus back in senior high :p

i got the inspiration from somewhere...