burn

burn

so much for that caring, positive nurse crap. it's definitely driving me to the edge and i'm done with it. it took me this long to realize that in fact, not all patients appreciate that. that it takes a certain level of maturity in their part, perhaps even a touch of common sense to do so. that to be overly "kind" and "caring" can be misinterpreted and abused... several times. and that this could all lead to the ultimate burnout.

the problem: as much as i want to screw the cheery, positivist b.s. and ditch all the pleasantries everytime my patient drives me nuts, my clinical instructor would pass by. not wanting to endanger my academic survival, i would (but unwillingly) swallow the urge to be monster nurse and turn into the angel that they expect us to be, sans the wings (feathers are potent allergens).

my patient is a 16 yr old egoistic, manipulative, misogynistic crybaby and i am the nurse who seriously needs an anger management therapist.

ad absurdum

ad absurdum

malls being the Meccas of Philippine society, are perfect venues for just about anything. in fact, in the last decade, more malls have been built than hospitals. and with the desire to lure a money-spending market, malls cease to be rows of commercial stalls in an enclosed, air-conditioned space. now, malls have gardens, activity centers, fountains, playgrounds and swimming pools and even mini-churches!

because of these rather interesting addendums ergo wider market, the mall has been the place of choice for album launches, mall shows and even blood donating activities! wow. now people will be spared of the unnecessary activity of going to blood banks.

as activity centers where blood letting events are held are usually located on broad hollow spaces in the middle of the mall, you can lie down on make shift beds (what luxury!) in front of hundreds of onlookers (yes even activities as such aren't spared from onlookers) as blood is literally drained out of you along with the other muscled and tattooed (occasionally long-haired) men lying beside you. but not to worry, entertainment of highest quality is provided as talented people from your neighborhood convenience (read as:sari-sari) store serenade you with a guitar and tracks that will sure fire up the blood (oops...). it is just ingenious. Robina "snake-twin" Gokongwei is killing stiff competition with mall tycoon Henry "we've-got-it-all" Sy with this bloody attractions.

no one can tell what will happen next...

this is not good

this is not good

i caught a whiff.

difficult courses. even more difficult teachers.

that definitely spells disaster in big, bold, red screaming letters:

DISASTER

now it's a head on-collision to another semester. bless our souls Lord!

it's never too late

it's never too late for a birthday greeting

HAPPY BIRTHDAY evol! :)

*hover cursor over hyperlink

20 utterly random facts

20 utterly random facts you need not know (but will probably read anyway) about myself:

1. i have been supporting public transportation for nearly 8 years and counting.
2. i am a sloth. i eat, sleep, watch TV and don't exercise.
3. i feel/feel that i look smarter with my glasses on. :p
4. a classmate from first yr high school christened me with my nickname egay and has actually a pseudo-logical explanation for it.
5. and i have been called that ever since.
6. there are actually more than 10 other nicknames derived from egay.
7. i want to gain weight on all the right places.
8. i secretly hope for fairer skin sometimes, nevertheless i enjoy being brown.
9. my yahoo id is my first name spelled backwards with an underscore in between.
10. i was a slave of the TV.
11. i am a videoke/karaoke freak.
12. i believe i can live on spaghetti alone.
13. i am habitually tardy.
14. i am secretly a fan of mandy moore.
15. i don't like undue attention and almost all kinds of confrontation.
16. i have and with all shame, at some point backstabbed a friend and i regret doing so .
17. i love Burger King anything.
18. sometimes ( well yeah, all the time!) when i don't have anything to do on the bus ride home, i eavesdrop on other peoples' conversations and based on those facts, infer what their lives must be like on my mind.
19. once, on the bus, someone told me he was bisexual. talk about unnecessary info!
20. i can't believe how malas i am sometimes and if i would rate myself as on a malas scale of 0 to 5, 0 being the lowest, i'd say i am a 4.

aboard the 10 o'clock bus

aboard the 10 o' clock bus
i thrive on public transport. and as usual, i woke up extra early to meet my cousin for my last call to summer and her last call to a college degree. we agreed to catch the 10AM bus trip from cubao to pangasinan. i was basically hitching and the trip wasn't booked and everything else was all last-minute. we were practically banking on hope.

as we reached the terminal, a bus was leaving, there was no way we could catch it. not with the heavy baggage we had. the next trip to our destination was an ordinary bus. the other choice was an air-conditioned bus that leaves at 12:00. time is of the essence. in short, we had no choice but to take the friggin' ordinary bus.

yes i do live on PUVs, but i despise ordinary buses as much as i loathe ordinary buses in the city. my cousin practically dragged me up the bus and strapped me to the seat. i was fervently hoping for a 16-ton wonder, an airconditioned bus that would take me out of that heat-laden mess. 10AM is a hot time to travel and this was going to be one heck of a long hot ride to my summer vacation.

as we were the first ones to board the bus, we were seated up front. really up front. where we could see everyone who came in, came out and made a scene. i practically grew up on buses so i know for a fact that at least 1 person in the bus in the span of one and a half hours would make a scene. that makes a 2-3 person average for a 4 hour trip. and that's on a good day...

the trip that day was not quite good, but for the change of scenery, it was worth it.

let's not do that again.

the big bad brother

the big bad wolf brother the idea of blind obedience is pretty interesting at first. taking orders from a mysterious voice talent, that has got to be something. add that to the almost certain drama of detaining emotionally driven teenagers in a house with cameras rolling 24/7. our chismis genes sense heavy gossip action here.

but when the mysterious pseudo-omnipresent/omniscient/omnipotent persona turns out to be a mean, ratings-hungry, power-tripping bastard, its a whole new different story. abhorrence begins where amusement ends.

what i actually mean is, playing a classified conversation on the in house PA system, now, that is just mean. and for said conversation to actually cause quite a stir in the PBB house and the fact that it was played for all including those not concerned to hear, well that is just plain evil. it is uncalled-for, below-the-belt and utterly evil.

and they actually have the nerve to tell me that there was a life lesson to be learned in all this. like what? tactlessness? come on! spare me the b.s. everyone knows you're in it for the rating. for a media mogul like ABS, life lessons are certainly not first of its concerns. the point is, viewers are smarter now, and they (myself included) can sense unnecessary cover-ups if there are any, to disregard that fact, ergo, assuming viewers are passive and stupid... (well, actually some are as stupid as you think), is a major crime.

this is sick.

PS: i didn't watch PBB for the past episodes and i don't think i would watch it soon if not ever. this is a vow and i swear upon the rock on which my pc stands.

PPS: and this is just one of the major atrocities of the said show.

*pic courtesy of frytz

antisocial friend

antisocial

hope my antisocial friend doesn't kill me for this :)

*kudos to http://sedricke.fotopic.net for the wonderful digital pics

new template

new template

hope you like... im still adjusting to the feel. feel free to comment. and please, it's not green it's turquoise (supposed to be :p).

the results of my geekhood

the results of my geekhood

my suspicions have been confirmed i am exactly 19.52663% geek, which makes me a Geek geek.

tagaytay

tagaytay

a change of view is nice for the system once in a while...

it gives you an excuse to take a gazillion pictures of your favorite subject... yourself.

*pics courtesy of http://sedricke.fotopic.net

i'm back

i'm back

more than a tool, the internet is a way of life. and yes, as you might have guessed by now, i endured over a month sans the internet. what amazes me most is the fact that i'll still be alive after that. and i am not exagerrating. not to mention, the attempts i made to go to internet cafes got me nearly mugged.

anyway, a sort of good thing came out of not having connection for almost a month. i finally caught up with a lot of reading. it more or less kept me amused for a time. at least before i come down with the migraine. irritating.

i take NSAIDs for my migraine. sort of like maintenance drugs, only i take it just before pain kicks in and bites me then swallows me whole. the doc, asked me to watch out for signs, like preceding auras or something. but i never learned how to recognize those. well, not until it gets to like level 10 pain. by that time, my head is as an awful mess and every vein inside it goes insane. surprisingly, i don't lose it... i mean... lose it lose it.xp

migraine headaches are a tricky bunch. like an uncontrollable psychomonster that comes when it is least expected. and because i am having them more often, i thought maybe another visit to the UP Health Service is required. i got another prescription (a stronger drug), a referral to the opthalmologist and another referral to the Headache Clinic (would you believe it?). right... it is nuts.

the opthalmologists declared i have mild astigmatism and i have yet to find out from the headache experts.

house is right... you go to an eye doctor and they tell you it's an eye problem. the neurologist would likewise tell you it's something with the brain. what would happen if i go to a colon expert... for a headache? it wouldn't be so difficult to predict.

i am officially migraine girl ~xc >barf<

tada!

tada!

so much is happening, but then, nothing is.

semester's almost ending but there's still so much loose ends to tie up. so much. too much, that i don't think the remaining days are enough. i am torn between extending the semester and ending it all together. celebration, is too soon and unfair to say the least.

well, at least i'm done with clinicals and with the other major stuff. although there's that research proposal, N117 and maybe (but most likely) N181 finals that has yet to be done, oh the horror! i'm trying not to lose hope but am having a hard time, must-have-Divine-intervention.

the frustrating fact is the scarcity of posts in this blog which have led to several episodes of manic outbursts, depressive moods and (no not constipation but) migraine. i only have a total of 5 posts for this year. after some time, it kind of gets to you. much more because this is my sole vent more like a blowhole, and perhaps videoke but the latter serves temporary relief. what this blog offers is permanent sanity, which is in greater demand yet devastatingly scarce supply.

anyway, this is just to organize my thoughts. im officially lifting my hiatus. today :)

some new post

some new post

in case you're wondering, what mischief i have been up to lately, well, there's really nothing much to say about it except that i'm juggling lot of academics and some you-know-what on the side. :)

hmmph

hmmph

the problem with you people, is that you think everything is implied when it's clearly NOT!

visitation of the gods

visitation of the gods

well, it just came to me. nothing particularly interesting happens nowadays. i mean like something totally different. im not quite sure if that's good or not. but in a few minutes we'll be seeing the president of India (i don't know his name). he came to visit the college and everyone's prim and proper presence is required. actually the college has been preparing for weeks. and i mean really preparing. for one, the college was repainted with a peach and terracotta tinge, giving it a warmer tone now. classes in the college have been suspended today. library services are temporary unvailable. and we were required to come in base uniform and be there, seated at the auditorium at exactly 4.30 pm. bags not allowed. everyone was instructed to address mr. Indian president as "His Excellency" when the situation calls for it.

the president of India has come and will supposedly grace us in all his Indian presence. i don't know why he came to our college. we were told they're interested in our brand of nursing, that they're interested to know of our curriculum (yah, we're that good). i'm just not sure what the president has got to do with that.

anyway, i take it back. something interesting is happening today. :)

happy birthday

happy birthday

i therefore conclude, birthdays are a cruel invention. why do they have to give me one day, then afterwards send me back to the pits? when it takes approximately 24 hours to absorb the rather good feeling and the idea of you being another year older to actually sink in.

birthdays are actually a good excuse for anything. you want to shop on impulse, tell them it's your birthday. want to binge? it's your birthday. want to have a hair cut? it's your birthday. want to get drunk? it's your birthday. hangover? it's your birthday. want to throw tantrums? it's your birthday. diarrhea? it's your birthday. there's still no excuse for constipation, but for everything else it's your birthday. what could be a better excuse than that?

but no really.

in reality, people don't give a sh*t if it's your birthday. sure you temporarily earn certain privileges, but the world goes on raining on your parade.

-----------------------------------

Happy Birthday

there's a reason why "Happy Birthday" seems to be compulsary,
why every body wishes birthdays to be happy...
because they aren't in the first place.
indeed, you only wish for things you don't have.

fake hiatus

fake hiatus

ironically, everytime i declare a hiatus, i find more opportunities to keep this posted. well, it happens with no fail. maybe hiatuses just are not my thing even if i want them to be.

anyway, you know how i have become sooo attached with Pateros (not!). it's over, finally. i'll certainly miss... aww who am i kidding? i won't miss anything. except maybe the kids who i so enjoy injecting and lovingly see cry on immunization days. oh how i'll miss them. and please, for the 2354th time, mothers, i did not and will not (God forbid) strangle your children (although i wish i did, to add truth to your countless accusations :p).

a typical scene after we administer the vaccines:

baby: (cries uncontrollably)

mother: (carries baby) sinong nag-away sa'yo? inaway ka nila? tahan na. papagalitan natin.

but they never do. i wish they did. gahd how in my head, i have rehearsed for that. no wonder why kids almost always associate nurses or doctors with pain. they are, early on, instilled with fear. even if surely, the benefits outweigh the risks.

you might think i'm a bit of a sadist, i'm not. well, a little, but i'm not. i enjoy injecting kids because i think of what kinds of diseases they'll be free from. diseases they'll never experience and only hear or know from the books they'll read later on. and the pain they'll never get to know.

as for the crying part, i don't have an excuse for that. i just enjoy it.

hiatus

hiatus

im going on an indefinite hiatus. (now, pretend to be sad)

why?

because things are getting pretty toxic on this side. wish me luck and hope i'll still be alive after this. we are on our second week in Pateros, ha! three days to go... the lack of sleep, physical and mental exhaustion almost got me. almost. :)

anyway, this will be one hell of a new year. yup, i can almost taste it.

hey, before i forget:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

to all the beautiful people born in January

(but because im feeling generous, i'll include the ugly ones too. hehe :p)

may we all have chocolate cake and rocky road ice cream. yum. :)

mem...what?

mem...what?

Golden's Memoirs of a Geisha was... uhmm...ok, pretty informative to say the least. it kind of reminds me of a kristine hermosa-starrer soap, where the beautiful yet (quite unbelievably) unfortunate leading actress gets api at the start by the mother of her filthy rich, hacienda-owning leading man or the rich, snobby and less prettier karibal and then remarkably succeeds in the end. but of course, it is the unwritten law that the plot shouldn't be that simple. along its meandering course are several, and by several I mean a lot, predictable, IQ-dropping twists.

i find the sadness funny and the misfortunes even more hilarious. i mean, i am superstitious and i can be unlucky but is it possible that someone could be that unlucky? i was going through more than half of the novel and gahd she hasn't become a geisha yet. i spent all afternoon reading the freaking introduction. get there fasterrrr! and spare me the bland descriptions, please. i just had enough of those.

but i couldnt put it down. i ended up finishing it. the ending was tasteless. it wasnt particularly anything. now i have to see how they'll turn this into a movie. and with zang zi yi (did i get the spelling correct?)... let's see. she might be pretty but i don't like her. i just don't, ok?